Search found 1650 matches

by Mic
Fri Sep 18, 2015 4:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

Thanks David.

Michaela
by Mic
Fri Sep 18, 2015 2:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

Hi all, This one has been included in the Lee Harwood tribute section of the most recent issue of Molly Bloom magazine. I'm really pleased. I knew Lee a little bit. I'd heard him read a couple of years ago, and he'd agreed to read this September for Pighog, and do an 'in conversation' piece. He is o...
by Mic
Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

I wasn't keen' on the word improbable though...too,, clinical?

I am hoping I acheive a similar thing with 'I know this is probably....../ and reach out my hand anyway ?

But perhaps not!

Mic
by Mic
Sun Aug 30, 2015 8:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

That's right. Just gorgeous.

Mic :-)
by Mic
Sat Aug 29, 2015 9:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

(I've just lost the post I wrote.) What I said was, I'm really pleased you like it David! I saw Lee Harwood read a couple of years ago - he was wonderful. He was due to do an 'in conversation with.. ' and a reading at the end of September at the monthly poetry night I organise. But he died. His work...
by Mic
Wed Aug 26, 2015 7:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Re: Nearly the end of August, 2015

Thanks Mac.

I can see what you mean by all the its and isiz and the wow and oh. Of course I kind of like them. But, I'm trying this without the 'oh' and an amended end ('improbable' was out of sync with the general vibe)

Mic
by Mic
Mon Aug 24, 2015 8:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The End Of Giants
Replies: 3
Views: 576

Re: The End Of Giants

I agree with kj, but found I lost interest perhaps a bit sooner than he did. I was really struck by that opening line, and 'grief' works for me in it.

Mic
by Mic
Mon Aug 24, 2015 7:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I want to hold you
Replies: 3
Views: 674

Re: I want to hold you

I think this has some charm to it!

Michaela
by Mic
Sun Aug 23, 2015 5:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Nearly the end of August, 2015
Replies: 13
Views: 1886

Nearly the end of August, 2015

(after Lee Harwood) Reaching up after dark to unpeg the washing on the rotary drier ....... wow, ..... it's so the sky with all those stars in it is the night is so clear and so what little breeze there is carries the day's warmth in it still behind me, a dark basket of clothes and pegs there are s...
by Mic
Thu Jul 09, 2015 6:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Spinning Chester; He Spins Stronger
Replies: 8
Views: 877

Re: Spinning Chester; He Spins Stronger

I liked it.

Mic
by Mic
Sun Jul 05, 2015 2:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The old house dreams they are still there
Replies: 7
Views: 1720

The old house dreams they are still there

At the back bedroom window, the eldest watches as dad ties a rope-swing to the elm. She clocks the tree’s bone-white roots, good footholds for the scramble up the slope, and imagines the view again, the way it stretches across the valley into small tree-topped rumps of mountain. The little ones gigg...
by Mic
Thu Jun 18, 2015 11:35 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Taiwanese Lessons (Revision 4)
Replies: 31
Views: 2408

Re: Taiwanese Lessons

Hi JJ, Before reading other responses to this, my first thoughts: Yi Chin studies like a famished wolf, ----------nice opening line follows me a few steps behind and when we speak she nods the tiny nod of respect. Keep up, I say, you're in the UK now. She sweeps the ground, listening for the sound o...
by Mic
Sat Jun 13, 2015 7:50 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Niece
Replies: 15
Views: 1077

Re: Niece

Thanks David :-) & Ros!
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 2:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Niece
Replies: 15
Views: 1077

Re: Niece

I've just tighetned it up a bit, taking the more obviously prosy bits out. This is just a temporary measure while I think about how perhaps to introduce more metaphor and music.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 1:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Niece
Replies: 15
Views: 1077

Re: Niece

Hello everyone! (It feels just like old times.) Suzanne, I would take off the first stanza as it seems extra to the focus of the poem. I think it is a wonderful moment for the N and her to capture but for the poem, i think taking N out and setting her in a spot light, her saying must-do a million ti...
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 9:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Playing the same piece of music
Replies: 13
Views: 1086

Re: Playing the same piece of music

Hi Seth! Comments before reading what others have to say: I rather liked this, until that last line, which is just trying too hard (in my view) to reach for an 'epiphanic moment'. Trouble is, I'm not sure that what you have (without that last line) is quite enough. Perhaps not very useful thoughts, ...
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 9:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Tsuki
Replies: 19
Views: 1336

Re: Tsuki

Hey!

Lots of tension and it feels like lots is going on with so few words.

I liked it.

I don't know what Tsuki means, but I liked that word too.

Mic

:-)
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Elegy to Rab ( Jan 1958-July 2004)[reversion 1]
Replies: 30
Views: 2339

Re: Elegy to Rab ( Jan 1958-July 2004)[reversion 1]

Hi JJ, my thoughts without reading earlier comments. The idea is clever, and well-handled. It all reads very well, the rhymes are seamlessly interwoven, the pacing is good. It's an accomplished piece. And yet, curiously, I find myself not as moved as much as I feel I should be. I have a feeling that...
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I Want You to Ask
Replies: 14
Views: 1828

Re: I Want You to Ask

Steve, there is obviously a lot of loving feeling in this, but it needs something more inventive -with less predictible language, and a less predictable setting - to turn it into a poem.

Mic
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Incident at the Grove of Mamre Revised
Replies: 11
Views: 878

Re: Incident at the Grove of Mamre

I do like narrative poems, but I don't find myself excited by this - it is a little bit plodding, the language seems at times overblown, and the gothic scene seems too familiar. I did like the (to me) unsual words though, which helped lift things temporarily (terebinths, Chaldean) Sorry I couldn't b...
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 8:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Little Wing
Replies: 16
Views: 920

Re: Little Wing

Hi Suzanne, some comments without reading what others have said, so there may be repetition: I find the scenario a little bit cliched (and some of the language, e.g. 'billowing sky'), and there is a bit too much melodrama for me (e.g. the heart-shaped window, and that rather self-conciously dangling...
by Mic
Thu Jun 11, 2015 7:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cuckoo
Replies: 11
Views: 851

Re: Cuckoo

Hi Ray Some first thoughts (without reading other comments) It's a poignant vignette. It took me a little while to get the POV (I should have paid more attention to the title in the first place). Figuring this out was, though, part of the enjoyment of the poem, for me. I liked the quiet internal rhy...
by Mic
Wed Jun 10, 2015 5:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Niece
Replies: 15
Views: 1077

Niece

In a rare conversation after school - she usually disappears upstairs to build Lego towers with no windows - she tells me about must-dos. Must-dos are what they have to do if they're to get extra play. They must do three must-dos each morning and there are different kinds of must-dos, like make and ...
by Mic
Thu May 28, 2015 2:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Which do you prefer
Replies: 3
Views: 464

Which do you prefer

thrill or ear?
(& with your lips again, pressing)
blue or horse?

As a slow light rains through
pinpricks in evening's dark
onto us

onto the urgent grass,
you ask is it mouth or stone
cowslip or round, legs or star?
by Mic
Sat Feb 21, 2015 8:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The children turn in their sleep (1984)
Replies: 7
Views: 633

Re: The children turn in their sleep, dream of flying (1984)

elotrooso wrote:Where she's flung...she being the moon or another? the moon being freed from the sun or a woman from a man?
In my mind, a woman from a man.

Mic