Search found 394 matches

by rushme
Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Maturing - Edited, sliced and diced
Replies: 13
Views: 1024

Re: Maturing - Edited, sliced and diced

enjoyed - the fresh concept & the picture - almost like a still life painting. but i think you can edit this further & tighten it to advantage 'hoovering fruit flies' sounds odd - did you mean hovering? i'm sorry for rewriting - it is the easy & lazy way out - but take what you will or discard: I si...
by rushme
Mon Jun 28, 2010 8:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ingerland (continued ... )
Replies: 2
Views: 381

Re: Ingerland (continued ... )

too bad england didn't win! was really rooting for them! when it was 2-1 & the refree didn't give that second goal - i was quite aghast! what's technology there for? in cricket whenever there's a close call - they refer to technology - another umpire monitors the screen & the whole thing is played &...
by rushme
Fri Jun 25, 2010 9:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Moon on Earth
Replies: 9
Views: 808

Re: The Moon on Earth

thanks for the suggestion ray

there's a very famous demon in indian mythology called Ravan with 10 heads! imagine the goals he could save! multiple arms like the gods & 10 heads like the demon - i'm wondering how to incorporate that!
by rushme
Fri Jun 25, 2010 5:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Moon on Earth
Replies: 9
Views: 808

Re: The Moon on Earth

all odd i thought was both singular & plural! thanks for all the suggestions brian - have revised. well england won the match - congrats all! so perhaps your wish is answered! poor italy!

thanks paisely!
by rushme
Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pi Burned Alphabetics
Replies: 15
Views: 1282

Re: Pi Burned Alphabetics

really liked the lines: if the galaxy opened a wave in the night's lung & we would think of nothing except time not existing in the cursive call of violins i am curious to know who the 'you' is: when you touch me my eyes pound with night like a bruise your voice shifts with an oiled flame my heart p...
by rushme
Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Drunk
Replies: 15
Views: 1197

Re: Drunk

that's too much lovin! i object! :)
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Drunk
Replies: 15
Views: 1197

Re: Drunk

mic - please don't misunderstand but this is very banal & clumsy writing no tit-for-tat - least interested in that sort of a thing. but as you said: If anyone thinks anything I write is shit, I want to hear it. I post complete drivel sometimes, and sometimes I post something that is mostly drivel bu...
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Cold Front
Replies: 15
Views: 1098

Re: An Advisory

dear paisley enjoyed your poem - quaint, charming & whimsical! current conditions is a good title! some suggestions - take what you will or disregard: Talk to someone else about the weather: how the grass has grown in the orchard how the cherry blossoms have fallen early this year. I don't want to h...
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:09 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Existential Living
Replies: 8
Views: 789

Re: Existential Living

thanks elphin - 'with every passing breath blows on my hair' i thought was quite fresh! for a subject like this - it's the treatment that matters. i love drama - for me if a poem is not dramatic it tends to be boring - but that's me! you're right about the pratice part! but thanks for all the valuab...
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Existential Living
Replies: 8
Views: 789

Re: Existential Living

dear mic

i'm not looking for compliments neither for love-in's

i understand perfectly what a critique of a poem is all about.
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 8:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Existential Living
Replies: 8
Views: 789

Re: Existential Living

boy! am i glad you didn't get there first mic! there's a difference between criticism & trashing - try & get that right. a peculiar trend i've noticed - only in this forum: no sooner do i post - the poem is trashed by you or one other - some others dither as danger lurks in these waters - at times a...
by rushme
Tue Jun 22, 2010 7:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Existential Living
Replies: 8
Views: 789

Re: Existential Living

thanks clara! i'm glad you got there first!

a pleasant change for me!

thanks for the suggestions.
by rushme
Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Existential Living
Replies: 8
Views: 789

Existential Living

I The day flags and flays, hangs...listlessly in the air. Smoke swirls and eddies, stays…right there. Death lingers on... with every passing breath, blows on my hair. How shall I begin to spell out my days and having begun, ...end them? Greet the moon at eventide, creep quietly into the night, welco...
by rushme
Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Moorland
Replies: 14
Views: 1094

Re: Moorland

gives the feel of vast spaces - i feel the core of the poem is here - hope it helps as well: I am a northern moor lying still under the shadows touching the contours of muted pinks and greens, Today when she spoke to you: a songbird voice of grey restraint she didn't realize she sent you back- you d...
by rushme
Mon Jun 21, 2010 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Moon on Earth
Replies: 9
Views: 808

Re: The Moon on Earth

thanks all for reading & the comments. clara - great editing & puctuation suggestions - thanks! thanks brian - cannon it is! odd or odds - i thought could be either reference to indian god - multiple arms - just to signify that only four hands against so many feet have to work magic how many feet? i...
by rushme
Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Moon on Earth
Replies: 9
Views: 808

The Moon on Earth

The moon kicked around on earth, either side, guardians guard the temple post, against all odds, with multiple arms like an Indian God, against the onslaught of so many feet. Shot like a cannon, the moon enters the hallowed space, guards fall, the temple explodes to the agony & ecstasy, the drone of...
by rushme
Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Can-Can (was Curtain call)
Replies: 15
Views: 1066

Re: Curtain call

very cliche-ridden i'm afraid:

the petticoat frills
the can can
bows...

however, it's not in me, to outline the negative without giving a positive feedback:

i still enjoyed the overall picture this paints!
by rushme
Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Ghost Writer
Replies: 11
Views: 962

Re: The Ghost Writer

a delightful read through & through!

i feel - not a word out of place - very adept very fine!

enjoyed immensly!
by rushme
Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Rhiwargor
Replies: 13
Views: 1060

Re: Rhiwargor

enjoyed the picture this paints calico!
by rushme
Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Argentina!
Replies: 25
Views: 1527

Re: Argentina!

none - arian - i only bet to win!

but i did think: bet nobody would notice that!

so i guess i lost!
by rushme
Tue Jun 15, 2010 5:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goal!
Replies: 11
Views: 903

Re: Goal!

my dear brian - by larger picture i did not mean - fate destiny along with astrology, spirituality and religion i meant - goal - the various goals in life we pursue & as in the game of football - the importance of feet - that take us in & out of the doors of opportunity - if pointed in the right ang...
by rushme
Mon Jun 14, 2010 11:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Argentina!
Replies: 25
Views: 1527

Re: Argentina!

wow! thanks for enlightning - it seems writing & betting go hand in hand! & guess what i found out - that america defeated england in the fifa world cup in brazil way back in 1950! wonder when they'll start playing cricket? i believe they're getting a team together - they'll beat everyone else for s...
by rushme
Mon Jun 14, 2010 8:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goal!
Replies: 11
Views: 903

Re: Goal!

the stars in your favor - as in luck, good fortune, fate, destiny...

but i see it can work both ways - yea why not the stars as players...?

was also looking at the larger picture.
by rushme
Mon Jun 14, 2010 6:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goal!
Replies: 11
Views: 903

Re: Goal!

which part?
by rushme
Mon Jun 14, 2010 5:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goal!
Replies: 11
Views: 903

Re: Goal!

thanks david! ray - i only know that unless that ball is kicked inside the net it is not a goal - & to get it inside the angle must be right - no matter where you're standing - & the stars of course must be in your favor - otherwise no matter how hard you try or how much you sweat - it might not hap...