Search found 5199 matches

by Macavity
Thu Aug 06, 2020 8:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist (revision2)

Such stamina Not. :lol: :D I'll add your thoughts to my list when I come to revisit (I'm going to let the current revisions bed awhile to see if they root). As always thanks for offering your perspective.

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Thu Aug 06, 2020 3:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist's Statement (revision)

hi Not I'll try to answer/justify some of the options I have taken, not to convince, but to clarify :D don't think that 'statement' fits the poem. Agreed. Edited. Still puzzling over the ending, why wouldn't she use her artificial hand to break the glass? I didn't say she had one (perhaps she's stuc...
by Macavity
Thu Aug 06, 2020 1:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist (revision2)

Thanks for revisiting Not. You were right about the title (and on a few other points). Made some quick edits. Will go for a walk and ponder some more.

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Thu Aug 06, 2020 2:35 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

I once had a rejection from an ezine telling me - well I have many rejections from ezines - but this one stated 'your poems do not resonate close-up'. Quite a specific rejection - as opposed to 'your poems are not suitable for....' At the time, I regarded the rejection as somewhat pompous, an editor...
by Macavity
Wed Aug 05, 2020 5:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

leaves bloody footprints
where gulls brawl until high tide
erases the melee
by Macavity
Wed Aug 05, 2020 4:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist (revision)

Loved the title suggestion Not. I've tinkered a tad for some clarity. As always, thanks for taking time to offer suggestions.

best

mac
by Macavity
Wed Aug 05, 2020 12:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

The Machirologist (revision2)

revision2 She studied coincidence after her car ran over Pastor Kris and a retiring surgeon amputated her hand tattooed with poppies. The Kris is a dagger that wards off demons. Her husband, uniformed at breakfast, spread butter over cinnamon buns with a Kukri - 'a Gurkha's parting gift'. His metal...
by Macavity
Wed Aug 05, 2020 6:21 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

Like many readers, I enjoy an ekphrastic poem. Auden's Musée des Beaux Arts is a famous example. One of the many attractions of poetry is sound and one of the tools to snare a reader is rhythm. Some contemporary poets seem to fear rhythm, that it is a formalist device that restricts and drags the vo...
by Macavity
Tue Aug 04, 2020 12:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonnie & Clyde v2

hi Not

I think you lose the 'black' humour of the original with the additional theme.

best

mac
by Macavity
Tue Aug 04, 2020 7:25 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

I don't mind 'fizz' in a poem, extrovert sounds, especially if it's a soundscape pattern of consonance and assonance rather than endline chimes. I feel in this poem, there's too much 'ugly' noise to begin with, though obviously the poet's intention is to structure the poem this way. However, there i...
by Macavity
Mon Aug 03, 2020 2:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonnie & Clyde

Thumbs up on the title change. Liking this more, now that I am keying into the changing perceptions of criminality and not web searching on the title!

best

mac
by Macavity
Mon Aug 03, 2020 2:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Galway
Replies: 2
Views: 50

Re: Galway

I enjoyed the write Trevor, its richness, which is a thumbs up from someone who has a bias (towards short poems!) Some detail below on what works and doesn't for me. I think you could write some notes to accompany the poem for an outsider to appreciate the context (I haven't done any web search beca...
by Macavity
Mon Aug 03, 2020 5:51 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

I do enjoy poetry that conveys a sense of place, especially a rural setting, this one is in the High Window publication and is written by Lesley Quayle https://thehighwindowpress.com/category/poetry/#Lesley%20Quayle includes these lines that have that odour of authenticity :) glacial meltwater benea...
by Macavity
Mon Aug 03, 2020 5:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

the gods have strange taste
a tin of ambrosia makes
perception divine
by Macavity
Sun Aug 02, 2020 7:37 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hi, I'm new here. . .
Replies: 1
Views: 39

Re: Hi, I'm new here. . .

Welcome to the workshop YDS. A diverse range of poems are posted here so I'm show you will find appreciative readers and helpful feedback. Look forward to your poems.

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Sun Aug 02, 2020 12:06 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

I thought I'd continue this thread in a more contemporary vein, though the fact the forum is not 'hidden' will be a copyright restriction on quoting entire poems. These two poems are from the Nine Muses Poetry publication: https://ninemusespoetry.com/2020/07/24/two-poems-by-ronnie-smith/ Particularl...
by Macavity
Sun Aug 02, 2020 11:44 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Questions
Replies: 9
Views: 221

Re: Questions

Mac, the number of times I've heard "I prefer the original" has convinced me I'm a lousy reviser. Nonetheless, I revise. :D See above. :lol: Been there! I guess revisions can lose the freshness of the original, become the product of consensus or worse (the template of another voice or aesthetic). I...
by Macavity
Sun Aug 02, 2020 6:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Vale Pax Americana
Replies: 5
Views: 61

Re: Vale Pax Americana

Interesting one Amadis. Wars, empires, conflicts were a focus of interest when I was in school (a while ago now :) ). I enjoyed history lessons (starting with the Roman Empire), perhaps a child is not taught to appreciate peace. History does teach that empires come and go, as does peace and war, tho...
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 8:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

dreams of worlds better
awake him in Elysian Fields
harvest surreal crops
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 8:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision3)

Like your ending Not. I'll steal that :D

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 7:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

Red hats', just a reference to those MAGA hats of Trump.
:idea: I should have guessed!

No doubt an amnesty would be granted :evil:

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 4:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision3)

Thanks again Not. I've revisted the ending and elsewhere. I think I need to rest the brain cell for now :D

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 2:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

Went web searching Not. I presume the title is playing around with Bonnie and Clyde (the latter could relate to the Anthill mob as well), but I didn't find any definitive red hat images (obviously I'm missing something). Perhaps there is some news story floating about? The law breakers not wearing a...
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:23 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Tristan in Snakeskin
Replies: 2
Views: 29

Re: Tristan in Snakeskin

congrats Tristan. My recent dental experiences agonies left me with a gap!

enjoyed both poems

best

mac
by Macavity
Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision2)

Thanks for revisiting Not. I seem to be in revision mode :D

I'll ponder on

cheers

mac