Search found 3097 matches

by JJWilliamson
Sat Jul 18, 2020 7:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

But in their own minds
they perceive nothing but air.
Eastern winds bring ruin
by JJWilliamson
Fri Jul 10, 2020 6:18 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

Hide microplastics
inside sea bream guts.
Smoke from the Barbie
by JJWilliamson
Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:35 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Haiku Train
Replies: 7561
Views: 942456

Re: Haiku Train

I won't disappoint
my guarantee is my bond
Brooke Bond tea bags
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pentre Village (revision)
Replies: 8
Views: 202

Re: Pentre Village (revision)

Great pentameter throughout, mac, with some appropriate substitutions here and there. I note you switch to hexameter in L's 7 & 8, but it didn't spoil the flow. Very enjoyable. The content is delicious and right up MY street too, with some super rhymes and slant rhymes. I agree that it does have a s...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 11:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Still
Replies: 10
Views: 187

Re: Still

. Hi poet, thanks for the read. Hi JJ, welcome back, and just in time! Yes, it's to do with slavery, statues and ... relieved that that's not hopelessly obscure. :) Regards, Not . Ah, good. I like it for its understated simplicity, something that invites the reader to pause and think. L4 Typo on 'i...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Still
Replies: 10
Views: 187

Re: Still

Is this anything to do with slavery, Not?

Just thinkin'.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 1105

Re: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)

Thank you for the kind comment, Lotus. Much appreciated. dear JJ Wonderful sounds here bicker on the banks and leas, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` and i truly enjoy how March might be movement as well as a month ...Delighted you liked. :) preparing for their March campaign. Lotus Thanks for the sage advi...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 7:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Promise
Replies: 6
Views: 466

Re: Promise

Hi Luke The sowing of wildflower seeds is a stark reminder for me. I'd sow them, only to pull them up later in the year, thinking they were weeds. Then I'd remember. :) A pleasant little haiku that could stand a nudge here and there. It's definitely worth pursuing, though. Enjoyed Best JJ We sow wil...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 21, 2020 6:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: La Belle dame sans Merci
Replies: 8
Views: 738

Re: La Belle dame sans Merci

Hi Tony I very much enjoyed this tribute to John Keats and the modern take on love, life and death. I was also reminded of several paintings, particularly one by John William Waterhouse. That put me in mind of John J Williamson. :) Just kidding. You have some metrical anomalies that could be remedie...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:51 am
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Durdle Door (revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1685

Re: The Durdle Door (revised)

Thank you very much, Jackie, and sorry for the late response.
I really enjoyed reading your impressions and also enjoyed
looking at the painting again through your eyes.

Thanks for that.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sun May 03, 2020 12:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Adrift
Replies: 8
Views: 357

Re: Adrift

No, I think I need to learn how to read. :)
TrevorConway wrote:
Sun May 03, 2020 11:16 am
You think that phrase needs a bit of revision?
JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sun May 03, 2020 10:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: After
Replies: 7
Views: 493

Re: After

I find myself agreeing with Tristan, Perry. The first three lines are a good hook in my opinion but it trails off into the mundane after that. It's a pleasant enough read and I wasn't bored, finding the questions interesting. I also wondered if you were going for some kind of meter. It seems to read...
by JJWilliamson
Sun May 03, 2020 10:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 1105

Re: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1] (was Visitors)

Thanks for getting back to me, Not. . Hi JJ, beyond the technical I don't think this works that well. ...Ah well, fair enough. For me it falls down when I wonder what his mind perceives does not lead to any exploration/elaboration of this wondering. ...It's a simple thought, like the way I used to w...
by JJWilliamson
Sun May 03, 2020 10:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 1105

Re: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1] (was Visitors)

Thanks a lot, Trevor, for dropping back in to look at the revision . Very nice, JJ - I like the brooders/suitors rhyme! And you've made the virus idea fit in a bit better, ...I hoped this extra stanza would provide a link from the romantic to the potentially tragic. I think, though I find "For" used...
by JJWilliamson
Sat May 02, 2020 9:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Encounter.
Replies: 9
Views: 582

Re: Encounter.

What a dilemma. I like both versions, Tony. The others have all made some fine comments, ones I found myself nodding to. I miss the coin/slot reference and agree about the mugging aspect. Some thoughts for your perusal: Revision Silently, slowly, ...Not bad but we all know the moon is silent and slo...
by JJWilliamson
Sat May 02, 2020 9:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Adrift
Replies: 8
Views: 357

Re: Adrift

I can totally sympathise with the speaker, having experienced this first hand. A friend of mine once said "Don't worry, it'll pass" and it did. Hang in there if this is current. I wonder if I would have picked up on the content without your explanation. I think I would, given the references. Persona...
by JJWilliamson
Sat May 02, 2020 8:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Without Explanation
Replies: 10
Views: 533

Re: Without Explanation

I thought it was about looks and behaviour, the superficial versus the complex.
If so, I like it. It's one of those I'd enjoy reading and thinking about on a plane.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat May 02, 2020 8:44 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Mac in The Poetry Shed
Replies: 3
Views: 322

Re: Mac in The Poetry Shed

I remember it, mac, and thoroughly enjoyed reading it again. Well done on this poem and the publication.

It's a beauty, mac, a real beauty.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat May 02, 2020 8:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Beautiful Soul
Replies: 4
Views: 435

Re: Beautiful Soul

Before I comment further, Anon, is this about the death of a much missed loved one? The reason I ask is because it struck me that way, and I have written several poems about crushing grief in the past. It's a tricky subject and very difficult to critique. If this is about love lost then Perry has of...
by JJWilliamson
Fri May 01, 2020 7:31 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Durdle Door (revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1685

Re: The Durdle Door (revised)

Thanks, mac and Mrs mac, for taking another look for me. Appreciated. Mrs Mac and I feel the figures are a tad tiny JJ. ...I'll accept a bit on the small side. :) Just me going for impact. There was a lot of short people out for a stroll that day. :) The island is definitely more an island. ...Ah, g...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Apr 30, 2020 9:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bouquet Garni (Was April)
Replies: 10
Views: 556

Re: April

So much to like, Luke, and I'll try to offer more later. Initially, I enjoyed the sacrificial aspects, as if they were a last resort, and a fear for the future. The twenty pound note was intriguing and the entire opening section acted as a super hook. Later on I saw a worried parent considering the ...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Apr 30, 2020 9:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cottage Pie
Replies: 10
Views: 525

Re: Cottage Pie

There's a lot to like, Trevor, and the effort is a valiant one, but for me it's a bit too long. Some lines could be cut without it affecting the content. My first thought, not too surprisingly, was to rhyme this poem using meter. Triple meter would work a treat but it's not easy. There's a heartines...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Apr 30, 2020 9:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dandelion (V4)
Replies: 11
Views: 533

Re: Dandelion (V4)

It's the second strophe that counts with the first being the set up. My preference is V3. I think V5 is too suggestive, given the gentleness of the other versions. You could leave something for the reader EG only " When I hear you stir/ how envious I am of the morning sun". Just a thought. Enjoyed B...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Apr 30, 2020 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Promised Land (v4)
Replies: 29
Views: 1472

Re: The Promised Land (v3)

Clever, entertaining poem, Not, and one that put a wry smile on my face. Your triple meter is very good, for the most part, but does falter in a few places, particularly the last line V3. . v3 The Promised Land Trumpety-Dumpety built a great wall ...perfect meter, and nice punning. of hot air and li...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Apr 30, 2020 8:22 am
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Durdle Door (revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1685

Re: The Durdle Door (revised)

Thanks for getting back to me, Perry. I must admit that I like the changes, myself, for the very reasons you cite. The scale and perspective is much clearer with the revisions. Delighted you liked. JJ The changes are good. I like them. The figures on the beach give the picture more perspective.