Search found 1806 matches

by NotQuiteSure
Wed Dec 02, 2020 5:59 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: London Grip
Replies: 3
Views: 25

Re: London Grip

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Thanks Tristan, mac.
Appreciated,
Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Tue Dec 01, 2020 11:30 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: London Grip
Replies: 3
Views: 25

London Grip

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One here

https://londongrip.co.uk/2020/11/london-grip-new-poetry-winter-2020-21/#jodah

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by NotQuiteSure
Wed Nov 25, 2020 1:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: THE CLOSING & REOPENING OF THIS FORUM
Replies: 11
Views: 523

Re: THE CLOSING & REOPENING OF THIS FORUM

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Thank you Nicola, thank you Cam.
Best wishes for whatever you do next.

I'll make the move to proleartthreat, let me know the how and when.

Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Tue Nov 24, 2020 12:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Native Tongue
Replies: 4
Views: 269

Re: Native Tongue

. Hi Trev, rather more miss than hit, for me; too many images, none of which feel explored/developed. I really like the first verse, I thought the piece was going to tell me something about being a immigrant and learning a new language (but then it goes on to cover the same ground as a lot of your ...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 22, 2020 6:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In the shadow of greatness
Replies: 6
Views: 388

Re: In the shadow of greatness

. Hi Amadis, I'm with Mac both the 'ambush' and 'genuflects' (hierarchical arguments notwithstanding) :) 'know with a smile' then 'the moment of knowing' ? Seems a bit too much knowing. The great ones entrance us, inspire, enhance us, with such a movement of the soul. a quickening of heart the very...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)

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Hi Amadis,
thanks for the read, glad you enjoyed it.

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Thu Nov 12, 2020 5:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pushing At An Open Door
Replies: 5
Views: 301

Re: Pushing At An Open Door

. Hi ray, not sure you've found the right title yet (but it is better, if only for reducing the lunch/launch numbers). Speaking of, and mindful that cutting S2 was never an argument I thought I'd likely win ... They put on a spread, a regular junket; Evidence-based practice shows that clinical judg...
by NotQuiteSure
Wed Nov 11, 2020 1:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Short
Replies: 8
Views: 284

Re: Short

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Hi Amadis,
thanks for the read (and the title suggestions ... well, not Sun Beem, I mean, really? :) )
Glad you liked it.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Tue Nov 10, 2020 4:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pushing At An Open Door
Replies: 5
Views: 301

Re: The Drug Lunch

. Hi ray. Love the ending, but think I the narrator needs to appear, however briefly, in the middle sections. Not convinced by S2 (the first two lines in particular) - I like the pun with 'junket' and the import of 'evidence-based' but the rest of the verse doesn't really add much or advance the na...
by NotQuiteSure
Mon Nov 09, 2020 6:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Short
Replies: 8
Views: 284

Re: Short

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Hmmm ...

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by NotQuiteSure
Mon Nov 09, 2020 1:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Short
Replies: 8
Views: 284

Re: Short

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Not sure that's going to work :)

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by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 08, 2020 1:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The end of (revision3)
Replies: 6
Views: 204

Re: The end of (revision)

. Hi mac, I think the revision is moving in the right direction. 'laboured' (I think) was concealing the 'frustrations', they are a little cleared now, to me. Though maybe more 'we' in the second verse (However, we sensed / and the ... ?), it feels a little bit too distanced. There seem to be so ma...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 08, 2020 1:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Short
Replies: 8
Views: 284

Re: Short

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Hi mac,
thanks for the read.
Any alternatives to the title? (Nothing too dynamic, I want this to be a quiet one)

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Short
Replies: 8
Views: 284

Short

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October, afternoon


On the wall, a bright rectangle
tilted by the sun and the shadow
of a bee, then gone.



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by NotQuiteSure
Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The end of (revision3)
Replies: 6
Views: 204

Re: The end of

. Hi mac, enjoyed the opening, especially the (amusing) period that completes the first line, but it rather went downhill from there. S3, in particular, with its apparently redundant list of (some)things it wasn't (if you don't know what it was, then its appearance and all the rest necessarily foll...
by NotQuiteSure
Tue Nov 03, 2020 12:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Snowmen
Replies: 4
Views: 215

Re: Snowmen

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Hi ray,
envious of 'snow-hush' (shame it could be the opening line),
and enjoyed the ending, 'December's / masterpieces' is very satisfying.
Predictably I get lost in S3.

Come a morning? or and by that morning?

Any way to cut meaning?
froze
pitter-pattering

?

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Mon Nov 02, 2020 5:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)

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Hi mac.

I thought it added to the general sense of mystery in that verse (and any 'oddity' might be ameliorated by the alliteration),
that said, any alternatives (for the word or the line)? :)

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 01, 2020 11:56 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Snakeskin(1)
Replies: 4
Views: 424

Re: Snakeskin(1)

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Congrats mac,
"silhouette, unholy felid / that fed" and "moon-racked" are little gems, nicely polished.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sun Nov 01, 2020 11:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v5)

. Hi Trev, glad you enjoyed it. Not too fussed by those verses being apparently 'weaker'. And, not sure what you mean by 'drawing the payoff out'? Two more verses of reactions, or something else? (Doesn't a drawn out punchline lose its punch?) Hi mac, soliciting a tweak, eh? OK. Right, well taking ...
by NotQuiteSure
Mon Oct 26, 2020 12:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v5)

. Hi mac, such forbearance! identities, stereotypes - good point(s), well made. :) Have reworked the florist and the ugly baby. Hadn't seen 'doyen' as an epithet (more an indicator of that ones sense of self-importance) but changed. 'Timorous lady' is looking like the odd one out now! But I'll leav...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun Oct 25, 2020 6:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Life, Interrupted
Replies: 5
Views: 349

Re: Life, Interrupted

. Hi Trev, also inclined towards those elements Luke identified, but agree with mac about unfin- and the ending. Not that keen on the title though, Unfinished ? Wondered if this began in the right place, why not start with S2? ( I'm not sure 'killing to grow' adds much to 'orphaned'). Baited as in ...
by NotQuiteSure
Sun Oct 25, 2020 2:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v4)

. Just for you mac, the unholy coupling of vicar/knickers is restored. Do I hear a hallelujah? It's either 'clutching' or 'ugliest', can't have both (as far as I can tell), you'll have to settle for clutching. :) Why locum? Why not? But changed anyway. Petal got deadheaded when I had to sacrifice t...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Oct 24, 2020 2:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils
Replies: 8
Views: 381

Re: A history teacher’s appraisal by his pupils

. Hi Luke, long time no read. It seems to lose a bit of focus in stanza four (not sure what is meant by 'resplendent under diadem' or how it is equivalent in function to 'some sort of breastplate'). and in the transition from stanza five to six. I think both 'empress' (L14) and 'you've formulated' ...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Oct 24, 2020 12:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v6)
Replies: 17
Views: 1053

Re: The Giant of Crabber Nase (v2b)

. Hi mac, thanks for returning. Got your 'boom' back, given it to a brickie :) and the 'ugliest baby' is restored. Thanks for returning. Regards, Not. ____ All tweaks : colonel → locum clutching her → with the ugliest "My, my" chirped the florist "you'll notice its eyes seem to follow wherever you ...
by NotQuiteSure
Fri Oct 23, 2020 12:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Submit
Replies: 6
Views: 381

Re: Poor Poem

. Hi ray, can you say bleak? :) But 'liked' L16-18 in particular, and the title. Found the possibility of 'jaundice' as a verb a bit of light in the gloom. 'litter' (L12) introduced the possibility of 'pets' (momentarily). Just a suggestion to push the two 'yours' (L12, L14) further apart I flash t...