Search found 1769 matches

by NotQuiteSure
Thu Aug 06, 2020 5:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist (revision2)

. Hi mac, thanks for the explanations I think we can assume her hand was lost due to the 'car accident' I'm not sure about that - 'her car ran over' seems passive, distanced (her from the event) and not a description that ostensibly puts her at risk of injury. I'll keep the poppy references I like ...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu Aug 06, 2020 12:16 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 61
Views: 8584

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

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Just a quick thank you, mac.
Been enjoying this weeks recommendations.

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Thu Aug 06, 2020 12:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: The Machirologist's Statement (revision)

, Hi mac, don't think that 'statement' fits the poem. Still puzzling over the ending, why wouldn't she use her artificial hand to break the glass? (And how does losing the second hand maintain the world's balance?) Not to mention the beginning :) why does she have her hand cut off, and why wasn't i...
by NotQuiteSure
Wed Aug 05, 2020 2:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Machirologist (revision2)
Replies: 7
Views: 61

Re: From A Hypnotherapist's Case File - The Thief

. Hi mac, the opening (line) grabs, but then lets go for a few (ok, three) verses. I think there is too long an interruption (almost digression) between 'studied coincidence' and 'mapped happenstance'. Various nits: s1 - who's driving the car. Or was it empty? Is this the desmembered hand referred ...
by NotQuiteSure
Tue Aug 04, 2020 1:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonnie & Clyde v2

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Hi mac, Y
I think you're probably right, thanks for revisiting.

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Tue Aug 04, 2020 10:37 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonnie & Clyde v2

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- tweaked -

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by NotQuiteSure
Mon Aug 03, 2020 3:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonnie & Clyde

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Thanks mac,
Credit to Y for that. She/he saw that to which I was smugly oblivious :)

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Mon Aug 03, 2020 1:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

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Hi Y,
title changed.

Thanks again.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Mon Aug 03, 2020 11:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Galway
Replies: 2
Views: 50

Re: Galway

. Hi Trev, I like the idea but lacking any knowledge of Galway this was a bit too meandering for me. And I didn't get much of a sense of place. I thought you came close in verses five (with what seem like long held local complaints) and six. Trying to follow the route on a map was difficult (though...
by NotQuiteSure
Mon Aug 03, 2020 10:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

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Hi Y,
I hadn't foreseen that 'outlaw' could be exploited in that way. (Always nice when you discover you've hidden depths.)
Would it enhance your interpretation were the title to be (the less? pejorative) Bonnie & Clyde (2020)?

Many thanks.

Regards, Not


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by NotQuiteSure
Sun Aug 02, 2020 11:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

Macavity wrote:
Sat Aug 01, 2020 7:59 pm
:idea: I should have guessed!
You really should :)

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by NotQuiteSure
Sun Aug 02, 2020 11:51 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Vale Pax Americana
Replies: 5
Views: 61

Re: Vale Pax Americana

. Hi Amadis. Goodbye America, Hello China? It seems to lack focus (or I'm as slow on the uptake as ever): don't understand the 'comet' or the 'sorceress', or why sheep would be scrambling in the dirt (there should be a comma after dirt). Who can believe what we hear when the tail wags the dog when,...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 4:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Re: Bonehead & Clyde

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Hi mac,
I'd forgotten the Anthill mob, delighted to be reminded.
'Red hats', just a reference to those MAGA hats of Trump.

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 4:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision3)

Hi mac, apart from that questionable question mark in S5, and the title, this one looks good. Now we wait for someone to say they preferred the original :) (I think you were right, that the sucked stones should be plural!) Finding more and more in 'mudcracked voices', either the ancestors in their g...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 1:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Bonnie & Clyde v2
Replies: 14
Views: 100

Bonnie & Clyde v2

. Bonnie & Clyde (2020) Captured here by video surveillance the outlaws, wearing their trademark red hats ID'd, arrested in less than an hour the only ones without a mask in the bank. Brought back alive boasted the sheriff it weren't as if either were black. ________________ Bonehead & Clyde (2020)...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 1:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision2)

. Hi mac, I appreciate the clarity you've brought with the revisions (doubtless someone will be along soon to say the opposite :) ) I think you could bring a little back in S3, as in Her sacrifice will appease their mudcracked voices (liked 'ancestors, by the way). You've 'bone' twice (S5,S7), just...
by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 12:05 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Tristan in Snakeskin
Replies: 2
Views: 29

Tristan in Snakeskin

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Congrats (twice) Tristan.

http://www.snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/


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by NotQuiteSure
Sat Aug 01, 2020 10:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge (revision)

. Hi mac, The daughter is the intended sacrifice. I think I prefer my interpretation :) I found 'him' (L3) ambiguous - he could be bent over the victim/stones or could be the victim bent (chest/heart exposed) backwards over the stones. L4 - Still unconvinced by 'faded runes' - might not 'old gods/m...
by NotQuiteSure
Fri Jul 31, 2020 4:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Henge (revision3)
Replies: 8
Views: 71

Re: Henge

. Hi mac, ignoring the historical/archaeological accuracy there's a lot to like, especially stanzas 6-8 (they rather outshine the rest). I'm going with a daughter watching the ritual killing of her father (but expect to be holding the wrong end of the stick). I think S4/L1 is the weakest line, woul...
by NotQuiteSure
Tue Jul 28, 2020 3:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: From A Hypnotherapist's Case File (revision)
Replies: 6
Views: 81

Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

. Hi mac, thanks for the explanation(s). Just realised I cut a line from your original unintentionally, i could end The customers salivate over primal cuts A fondness of meat spirals in their DNA. I tend now to think of 'hypnotist' as lacking the prefix 'stage' (may just be me though :) ) From the ...
by NotQuiteSure
Tue Jul 28, 2020 11:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: From A Hypnotherapist's Case File (revision)
Replies: 6
Views: 81

Re: Tales From A Hypnotist

. Hi mac, like the components, but it feels like it lacks a conclusion (why these three and not any other?) Not sure about the title, would 'The Hypnotherapist' be more accurate? Or Infinite Regression? i Any way for this to begin at line 3? I found ii, beginning 'my brother' had an immediacy that ...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu Jul 23, 2020 5:28 pm
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: The Gun and The Heart - La Pistola y el Corazón
Replies: 11
Views: 364

Re: The Gun and The Heart - La Pistola y el Corazón

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Hi Amadis
Amadis wrote:
Fri Jul 03, 2020 2:47 pm
thanks to you.
you're welcome.

Looks like you've got someone who actually knows what they're talking about with Jackie. I'll leave you to it :)

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Questions
Replies: 9
Views: 221

Re: Questions

. Hi Jackie, still not finding the repeated question successful, it's a bit too much of a non-sequitur, and wouldn't N's husband wouldn't be asking about the intubation at that point? Would it be too repetitive to maintain the 'nows'? 'harvest in' the 'fill-ins' - too many ins? 'sign me to want the...
by NotQuiteSure
Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish
Replies: 10
Views: 315

Re: Childish

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Hi Tristan,
maybe it's the title?

Barnard Castle Eye Test

Can you see
the problem?
Not at all
said Spaffer

or

I can't see
the problem
said Spaffer

Regards, Not

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by NotQuiteSure
Thu Jul 23, 2020 11:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Childish iv - Porkies
Replies: 4
Views: 116

Re: Childish iv - Porkies

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Hi Tristan,
ok, the Wees have it.

Regards, Not

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