The Poets' Graves Workshop

Hi Ton, Really liked this piece, loved the riff on Keats and it actually kinda spoke to me being a singleton who tries to find love through dating app. :lol: I dunno about the cliches, forgive me if it's not best practise to critique the critiquer, but it seems to be a dogma among some that cliches ...

Really enjoyed this one leaf. Gentle and musical and clearly exceptionally well crafted. It really does give a haunting feel.

Revision up.

Hi All, Sorry I'm so tardy on the responses. Peter thank you for your response, I'm really glad you appreciated it (and the allusions). Very sorry to hear of your brother. Yes you're not the only one who isn't familiar with the term "depot injection" so I think it worth looking at the title and use ...

Haha, Just to say I've been seeing adverts for Alabaster all over my facebook and instagram since I came across this thread. They run an engaging advertising campaigns too! And to be honest with you, I'm even tempted to completely prove your point lotus - by actually buying the gospels in this forma...

Hi All, A belated thanks for the responses Jules, Tony and Stedman. I'm really glad you appreciated it. Yes hear the message about the first paragraph, perhaps it would fit further down the poem? I wonder how many got the allusions? The italicised verses are alluding to various poem about madness. "...

I liked this a lot ton,

Great use of sonics and meter - I can really imagine the scene of the over-excited animal.

closing/showing is perfect in the context of "moving his head from side to side".

Nice work.

The Anti-Psychotic v3 (Formally Depot) Starving hysterical naked, dragging… Not the best mind of my generation… I bared my brains to Dog-shit... “Mr Gareth, Please report to treatment room” Says the familiar tone. A monthly check-in; “Are you well? Which side is it today?” The intramuscular injectio...

Well Perry, ordinarily I would leave such a comment be but as you said you wanted to discuss religion... *cracks knuckles* Nah, Honestly I don't know enough about buddhism to discuss really. :lol: Interesting article, and although tangendental to the argument about form and design - made me look up ...

Hi Mac, Really enjoyed this. Agree with camus about the underlying sinister feel about it which makes it very intriguing. Really enjoyed the sonics and feel in S1 in particular. As for the ending, well I love it because while it could be read as just adding to the sinister mood, what with the black ...

Hi Namya, I enjoyed this - a simple piece dealing with grand concepts but it works well. I can tell you're focusing hard on rhyming and meter, which are both crafts I sometimes struggle with so you have my admiration. I feel this would work well as a spoken piece for the above reasons, when I read i...

Hi All, Sorry I'm a bit late on the responses. Perry, yes I think that would make the piece much better - I'll see if I can find time to write in meter. I have written metered verse in the past but it doesn't always come naturally to me and requires quite a bit more effort. And yes talking about Rel...

A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer Our Father who art in heaven What’s with the “our”? There is no-one beside me who I know is praying. Hallowed be thy Name Why this name, exactly? Isn’t it the most blasphemed? Christ! I did it again… Thy Kingdom Come A bit old hat, that. Isn’t a republic better? Or a parl...

Hi JJ. Just to say I enjoyed this. Got me pondering on the meaning too. My first thought was that it was a reflection on an ethnic mix staring back at one in a mirror perhaps? Only that can't be right because aren't Galicians Celts? I know how many people (myself excluded of course :lol: ) don't lik...

Hi Jules

I think the revisions are improvements. It's still a bit like a jigsaw puzzle though, in that I don't quite grasp the meaning of the last stanza. Maybe I'm thinking too hard...

Thanks for taking the time JJ and I'm really glad you asked that question, because (like a few of my poems actually) I feel I'm throwing a few of our older members off by bringing in social media. I'm okay with Facebook, Charles. Carry on. I draw the line at Twitter, though. Cheers David Haha, than...

Hi churinga,

Really liked this one. Simple, well crafted and effective. Don't have any crit really, but I thought I'd let you know I enjoyed this one.

Hi Jules, I really liked the first two stanzas, really sets a good tone and carries you along, "all transcendence is sex" is a very well delivered cynical line. "Heidegger's hacked the skies. Look into my eyes." is a great line and a neat internal rhyme as well. Although I don't know enough about he...

Thanks for taking the time JJ and I'm really glad you asked that question, because (like a few of my poems actually) I feel I'm throwing a few of our older members off by bringing in social media. It's an interesting one because the whole social media thing was just kicking off when I was in my teen...

Thanks all. Agree this isn't my best effort, but thank you for the comments. Thanks, Binz, for saying it has potential. Give me enough hope to set to work on a revision. I think S4 is particularly weak - thank you for picking out the lines you liked. Perry, I did look at that poem you posted - thank...

I liked this JJ,

Enjoyed it more when I read the comments, my knowledge of ornithology leaves a little to be desired.

I count myself educated and entertained.

Revision 1 When I first met you it was an age ago, my love requited only for a certain length of time. You moved on - but you promised to be friends. Lived memories burn, as your promise is forgotten, but how much is there that’s new to see! Dead snapshots, true, but proof of life at least: Here, yo...

Not, Thanks for taking the time. Appreciate your comments. Tony, Rav and Mac, likewise. Taken on board and I will post a revision soon. Sorry it took me so long to get around to replying! Revision up. Always find revising the hardest part, as I'm never sure if what I'm doing is actually improving th...

Hi Perry, Thanks for taking the time. Unfortunate the title seems to lead you down the wrong path, it's incidental to the poem which isn't really religious - just some a loose collection of N's reflection at dusk. I suppose I was going for a contrast between the very secular reflections and the reli...

I have a real fondness for Brian Pattern. Come into the City Maud Maud, where are you Maud? With your long dresses and peachcream complexion; In what cage did you hang that black bat night? What took place in the garden? Maud, it is over, You can tell us now. Still lyrical but much used, you wonder ...