Search found 261 matches
- Mon Dec 14, 2020 11:16 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Dante on a Diet in Tesco
- Replies: 2
- Views: 118
Dante on a Diet in Tesco
Dante on a Diet in Tesco Midway upon this shop I’m bound upon I awoke to find myself in the cereal aisle With the muesli wholly lost and gone Ay me! How hard to think of it The mere sight of coco-laden corn Spikes the unregulated sugar in the blood. How I got there I cannot say For my basket was he...
- Tue Sep 29, 2020 12:32 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Poem
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1532
Re: Poem
Thanks very much for the comments Mac. Yes a working title was "The lie", but felt that was ruining the nuance of line you picked out. Another one was "forgotten conversation", thought it would be interesting to describe a conversation without reference to the actual speech and this poem is the resu...
- Tue Sep 29, 2020 4:23 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Poem
- Replies: 4
- Views: 1532
Poem
The accusation laid out -
her eyes, sterilised needles,
glisten with clinical fury.
I reply without pause
impassive, ascetic, legal.
I recite facts as truth.
She breaks off her assault
and empties the syringes
on the ground before me.
her eyes, sterilised needles,
glisten with clinical fury.
I reply without pause
impassive, ascetic, legal.
I recite facts as truth.
She breaks off her assault
and empties the syringes
on the ground before me.
- Sun Aug 23, 2020 12:11 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Dicks and Drake
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1359
Re: Dicks and Drake
Really enjoyed, punchy clever and topical. The ending hits home.
- Thu May 21, 2020 7:08 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: La Belle dame sans Merci
- Replies: 8
- Views: 1540
Re: La Belle dame sans Merci
Hi Ton, Really liked this piece, loved the riff on Keats and it actually kinda spoke to me being a singleton who tries to find love through dating app. :lol: I dunno about the cliches, forgive me if it's not best practise to critique the critiquer, but it seems to be a dogma among some that cliches ...
- Fri Jun 14, 2019 4:23 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Swirls (version 2)
- Replies: 26
- Views: 2373
Re: Swirls
Really enjoyed this one leaf. Gentle and musical and clearly exceptionally well crafted. It really does give a haunting feel.
- Fri Jun 14, 2019 4:15 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1803
Re: The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
Revision up.
- Wed May 22, 2019 10:24 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1803
Re: Depot
Hi All, Sorry I'm so tardy on the responses. Peter thank you for your response, I'm really glad you appreciated it (and the allusions). Very sorry to hear of your brother. Yes you're not the only one who isn't familiar with the term "depot injection" so I think it worth looking at the title and use ...
- Mon May 06, 2019 11:56 pm
- Forum: Poetry Discussion
- Topic: Format & Design versus Content
- Replies: 8
- Views: 4344
Re: Format & Design versus Content
Haha, Just to say I've been seeing adverts for Alabaster all over my facebook and instagram since I came across this thread. They run an engaging advertising campaigns too! And to be honest with you, I'm even tempted to completely prove your point lotus - by actually buying the gospels in this forma...
- Mon May 06, 2019 11:27 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1803
Re: Depot
Hi All, A belated thanks for the responses Jules, Tony and Stedman. I'm really glad you appreciated it. Yes hear the message about the first paragraph, perhaps it would fit further down the poem? I wonder how many got the allusions? The italicised verses are alluding to various poem about madness. "...
- Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:58 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Ferret
- Replies: 14
- Views: 1699
Re: Ferret
I liked this a lot ton,
Great use of sonics and meter - I can really imagine the scene of the over-excited animal.
closing/showing is perfect in the context of "moving his head from side to side".
Nice work.
Great use of sonics and meter - I can really imagine the scene of the over-excited animal.
closing/showing is perfect in the context of "moving his head from side to side".
Nice work.
- Fri Apr 19, 2019 2:55 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1803
The Anti-Psychotic (Formally "Depot")
The Anti-Psychotic v3 (Formally Depot) Starving hysterical naked, dragging… Not the best mind of my generation… I bared my brains to Dog-shit... “Mr Gareth, Please report to treatment room” Says the familiar tone. A monthly check-in; “Are you well? Which side is it today?” The intramuscular injectio...
- Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:40 am
- Forum: Poetry Discussion
- Topic: Format & Design versus Content
- Replies: 8
- Views: 4344
Re: Format & Design versus Content
Well Perry, ordinarily I would leave such a comment be but as you said you wanted to discuss religion... *cracks knuckles* Nah, Honestly I don't know enough about buddhism to discuss really. :lol: Interesting article, and although tangendental to the argument about form and design - made me look up ...
- Mon Apr 15, 2019 12:04 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Poet
- Replies: 6
- Views: 849
Re: The Poet
Hi Namya, I enjoyed this - a simple piece dealing with grand concepts but it works well. I can tell you're focusing hard on rhyming and meter, which are both crafts I sometimes struggle with so you have my admiration. I feel this would work well as a spoken piece for the above reasons, when I read i...
- Sun Apr 14, 2019 11:48 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer
- Replies: 7
- Views: 917
Re: A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer
Hi All, Sorry I'm a bit late on the responses. Perry, yes I think that would make the piece much better - I'll see if I can find time to write in meter. I have written metered verse in the past but it doesn't always come naturally to me and requires quite a bit more effort. And yes talking about Rel...
- Mon Apr 01, 2019 10:45 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer
- Replies: 7
- Views: 917
A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer
A Lapsed Catholic at Prayer Our Father who art in heaven What’s with the “our”? There is no-one beside me who I know is praying. Hallowed be thy Name Why this name, exactly? Isn’t it the most blasphemed? Christ! I did it again… Thy Kingdom Come A bit old hat, that. Isn’t a republic better? Or a parl...
- Tue Oct 30, 2018 1:56 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Reflecting (revision)
- Replies: 12
- Views: 2110
Re: Reflecting
Hi JJ. Just to say I enjoyed this. Got me pondering on the meaning too. My first thought was that it was a reflection on an ethnic mix staring back at one in a mirror perhaps? Only that can't be right because aren't Galicians Celts? I know how many people (myself excluded of course :lol: ) don't lik...
- Tue Oct 30, 2018 1:17 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Shine, Shine (was - The Problem of Being a Being)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 3390
Re: Heidegger's Eyes (3rd revision)
Hi Jules
I think the revisions are improvements. It's still a bit like a jigsaw puzzle though, in that I don't quite grasp the meaning of the last stanza. Maybe I'm thinking too hard...
I think the revisions are improvements. It's still a bit like a jigsaw puzzle though, in that I don't quite grasp the meaning of the last stanza. Maybe I'm thinking too hard...
- Tue Oct 30, 2018 12:44 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Millennial's Torch Song Ver. 2
- Replies: 11
- Views: 2818
Re: A Millennial's Torch Song
Thanks for taking the time JJ and I'm really glad you asked that question, because (like a few of my poems actually) I feel I'm throwing a few of our older members off by bringing in social media. I'm okay with Facebook, Charles. Carry on. I draw the line at Twitter, though. Cheers David Haha, than...
- Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:28 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Tides
- Replies: 12
- Views: 2020
Re: Tides
Hi churinga,
Really liked this one. Simple, well crafted and effective. Don't have any crit really, but I thought I'd let you know I enjoyed this one.
Really liked this one. Simple, well crafted and effective. Don't have any crit really, but I thought I'd let you know I enjoyed this one.
- Sun Oct 21, 2018 11:24 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Shine, Shine (was - The Problem of Being a Being)
- Replies: 15
- Views: 3390
Re: Heidegger's Eyes (revision)
Hi Jules, I really liked the first two stanzas, really sets a good tone and carries you along, "all transcendence is sex" is a very well delivered cynical line. "Heidegger's hacked the skies. Look into my eyes." is a great line and a neat internal rhyme as well. Although I don't know enough about he...
- Sun Sep 23, 2018 6:23 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Millennial's Torch Song Ver. 2
- Replies: 11
- Views: 2818
Re: A Millennial's Torch Song
Thanks for taking the time JJ and I'm really glad you asked that question, because (like a few of my poems actually) I feel I'm throwing a few of our older members off by bringing in social media. It's an interesting one because the whole social media thing was just kicking off when I was in my teen...
- Wed Sep 19, 2018 9:18 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Millennial's Torch Song Ver. 2
- Replies: 11
- Views: 2818
Re: A Millennial's Torch Song
Thanks all. Agree this isn't my best effort, but thank you for the comments. Thanks, Binz, for saying it has potential. Give me enough hope to set to work on a revision. I think S4 is particularly weak - thank you for picking out the lines you liked. Perry, I did look at that poem you posted - thank...
- Tue Sep 18, 2018 5:01 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Birds [language warning] (revision 3)
- Replies: 21
- Views: 3692
Re: Blackbird
I liked this JJ,
Enjoyed it more when I read the comments, my knowledge of ornithology leaves a little to be desired.
I count myself educated and entertained.
Enjoyed it more when I read the comments, my knowledge of ornithology leaves a little to be desired.

I count myself educated and entertained.
- Tue Sep 18, 2018 4:37 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A Millennial's Torch Song Ver. 2
- Replies: 11
- Views: 2818
A Millennial's Torch Song Ver. 2
Revision 1 When I first met you it was an age ago, my love requited only for a certain length of time. You moved on - but you promised to be friends. Lived memories burn, as your promise is forgotten, but how much is there that’s new to see! Dead snapshots, true, but proof of life at least: Here, yo...