Search found 801 matches

by John G
Fri May 17, 2013 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: park
Replies: 9
Views: 1031

Re: park

hello there, Robbie, hello. Firstly. stick with what Elphin said, don't apologise before you offer a critique, its your opinion and it has value, and that's why we are all here. As for your comments...spot on.."rustling like crip packets but did not feel that 'in tracksuits' was needed"...your right...
by John G
Thu May 16, 2013 9:58 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Brother Ali
Replies: 9
Views: 3478

Re: Brother Ali

Brother Ali is aces - if if he tickles your ears give these cats a try:

Sage Francis

http://youtu.be/BffumeEaYOI

Aesop Rocks
http://youtu.be/ZEBGCOCxLgA
by John G
Thu May 16, 2013 9:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: park
Replies: 9
Views: 1031

park

morning park, woman jogging with dog, panting, a formation of power walkers, overweight in tracksuits rustling like crisp packets the trees, the trees are stationary a bandstand without a band empty silent, is still a bandstand walking across grass, wet, dew clings to old shoes moving towards the po...
by John G
Thu May 16, 2013 9:03 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The CEO’s Video
Replies: 9
Views: 951

Re: The CEO’s Video

hello there,

Whole heartedly agree with the sentiments but am in two minds about the structure, hand one agrees that the short sharp nature goes with the language, the sound bite of business talk, but the other hand likes how Rich S has set it out.

Decisions decisions...
by John G
Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Enlightenment in Darkness
Replies: 3
Views: 406

Re: Enlightenment in Darkness

Yeah, stanzas 2 and 4 come across as a chorus and make the piece fill more like a song then a poem. Not that songs can't be poems or poetic.

Anyways, welcome to PG and look forward to reading more.
by John G
Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: never been the stuff of woman's
Replies: 7
Views: 913

never been the stuff of woman's

I don't think I've ever been the stuff of woman’s fantasies I doubt a stranger passing on a street has given me a second glance you see, I can't play guitar I can't sing a song I can't even dance I am what some magazines would call “out of shape” I have a beard but contrary to stereotypes it doesn’t...
by John G
Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In the library...
Replies: 7
Views: 679

Re: In the library...

Thanks Lake,

I did read the other day that library attendances are at an all time low so maybe a wormhole or two, or some slides would really get the punters through the door?
by John G
Wed Jan 09, 2013 9:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Tea and Tanks
Replies: 7
Views: 1089

Re: Tea and Tanks

This reminds me of that old sketch with Rowan Atkinson taking a school register.
by John G
Mon Dec 24, 2012 1:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: past life regressions...
Replies: 6
Views: 571

Re: past life regressions...

Hello Nash, Yep, the punctuation was a bit sloppy, so have amended. Thanks for pointing it out. As for the ordering, I think I had the sentence line after the peasant line as when I was reading but aloud it just sounded better but agree it would be far to obvious (and a really cheap ending) to have ...
by John G
Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:18 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Fall - Blindness
Replies: 4
Views: 1775

Re: The Fall - Blindness

The last time I saw them I think his actually pissed his pants and he spent a good majority of the gig sitting on a chair in the wings shouting but at the gig posted he was a consummate professional. No pissy pants. Just song after song. He was wearing reading glasses as well. Can't recommend them h...
by John G
Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: past life regressions...
Replies: 6
Views: 571

past life regressions...

have shown me that I have been:
a 14th century peasant
a full stop at the end of a sentence
a tyrant
a victim of a conspiracy
a speck of dust.
by John G
Sun Dec 23, 2012 5:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: City of ghosts
Replies: 4
Views: 503

Re: City of ghosts

I would echo the point about the ellipses, does make it somewhat hard to comprehend and gives the flow of the piece a rather stop, start flow. What about an edit, removing some of the ellipses to tighten up the whole piece?

Also, no punctuation. Sometimes works, sometimes doesn't.
by John G
Thu Dec 13, 2012 7:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In the library...
Replies: 7
Views: 679

Re: In the library...

Hello there Champion, Thanks for dropping by! The first line is not capitalised as it follows on from the title (couldn't think of a title so just used the first line of the poem!) Good spot on the meet/met, my bad and I will amend forthwith. And as for the steep learning curve regarding punctuation...
by John G
Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In the library...
Replies: 7
Views: 679

In the library...

behind books never lent
there is a worm hole to different worlds.

However, this being a library,
this discovery has never been discussed
or articulated.

Attempts to share the secret are met with a finger
to the lip and a ssshhhhh
from the hatchet faced librarian.
by John G
Tue Dec 11, 2012 9:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: administrative error leading to angry letters
Replies: 5
Views: 496

Re: administrative error leading to angry letters

Thanks Brian - appreciate the positive feedback and
spelling amended
by John G
Sat Dec 08, 2012 8:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: administrative error leading to angry letters
Replies: 5
Views: 496

Re: administrative error leading to angry letters

Hey Champion, Thanks for stopping by. Years ago I worked for a charity that was supposed to help world poverty and people would send sandwiches through the post which was thoughtful, poignant, but ultimately pointless and I guess that is the reason I came up with this. Maybe a Princess Di tampon wou...
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:10 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Fall - Blindness
Replies: 4
Views: 1775

The Fall - Blindness

Saw these on Friday and they were unbelievably good.

Here's a snippet

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuHE3OGOI9c&sns=em[/youtube]
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:07 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: administrative error leading to angry letters
Replies: 5
Views: 496

administrative error leading to angry letters

An administrative error resulted in them sending a crate full of unsold
Princess Diana commemorative funeral plates
to the victims of the flood.

They were not happy,
and when they dried off,
angry letters were written.
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 10:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Imperial War Museum
Replies: 16
Views: 1460

Re: Imperial War Museum

A poem that touches on the holocaust and ends with a knob gag (of sorts), I tip my hat to you.
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: go for the atlas (now with edit)
Replies: 5
Views: 634

Re: go for the atlas (now with edit)

Thanks y'all for the comments. Kev J: don't worry if you dont understand it all, I can't say I do either, but it supposed to e about someone wanting to escape something, the atlas a metaphor for escape. Tim: some useful insights, thanks. Will change the gameshow / audience line. Brian: As alway than...
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Palate For War
Replies: 8
Views: 820

Re: Palate For War

Great last stanza.

Sort of agree with the long lines in the second bit, seem slightly to long but doesn't really distract to much from the story being told.

Second poem of yours I've read today and the second one I've enjoyed!
by John G
Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Junk Shop
Replies: 10
Views: 1925

Re: Junk Shop

Really like the way repetition is used here.

Also it seems to have a dark undercurrent sloshing about.

Enjoyed that.
by John G
Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:28 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 409
Views: 202492

Re: The Chain

from Tommy Johnson to Tommy, that deaf dumb and blind kid (and an hilarious video of Roger Daltrey running against some great back drops)

by John G
Wed Nov 21, 2012 6:31 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 409
Views: 202492

Re: The Chain

Little Walter Big Walter - just dont miss your water

by John G
Tue Nov 20, 2012 8:53 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Chain
Replies: 409
Views: 202492

Re: The Chain

wheels of steel you say?