Search found 801 matches

by John G
Fri May 25, 2012 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: heath robinson contraption / weird today
Replies: 5
Views: 542

Re: heath robinson contraption / weird today

Hello Oskar,

Such nice words!! Thanks for the feedback - I'll have a look at those two lines - and yep Ive been busy writing and will (try) and keep you supplied. In the experienced section - maybe -

but again thanks for the positive comments.
by John G
Fri May 25, 2012 7:57 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: metro series #3
Replies: 11
Views: 943

Re: metro series #3

Hey Macavity - thanks for stopping by - glad you liked what you read and yep "'rutilant'" is a good word.

Arian, hello again, the spacing was just how it ended up being pasted - have changed it now - looks better now!
by John G
Thu May 24, 2012 8:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: metro series #3
Replies: 11
Views: 943

metro series #3

we are seeing staggering acts of cruelty theories indicate that the witch-hunt is back on feral children & hopeless parents TVs blaring in rooms where the computers crash and tears flow falling into the waste bins absorbed slightly by waste paper, discarded and covered in: pen scrawls letters cars o...
by John G
Thu May 24, 2012 8:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Blessed are the Peacemakers
Replies: 4
Views: 689

Re: Blessed are the Peacemakers

i cant read this without hearing this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xLUEMj6cwA

and agree with Arian, works better with just the first stanza - short and to the point.

sorry i cant offer more.
by John G
Thu May 24, 2012 8:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: heath robinson contraption / weird today
Replies: 5
Views: 542

Re: heath robinson contraption / weird today

cheers for the input - sort of agree with the point you make about "tiresome towards the end" - i think the last stanza doesnt really go with the rest - less is more - I probably shall remove. Glad that you liked the observational aspect of stanza one. I'll have a re-think about the ending. cheers
by John G
Thu May 24, 2012 8:11 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: The Only Ones - The Big Sleep
Replies: 4
Views: 1240

Re: The Only Ones - The Big Sleep

here be a choice track from the only ones - and re: another girl another planet, one of the better songs about heroin?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNuOSCM9ShQ
by John G
Tue May 22, 2012 9:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Trap of Death
Replies: 7
Views: 803

Re: Trap of Death

for the first stanza, i think it works best without the "at the ready", for me it just stifled the flow.


that being said, really enjoyed the last stanza, thumbs up etc
by John G
Tue May 22, 2012 8:56 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: heath robinson contraption / weird today
Replies: 5
Views: 542

heath robinson contraption / weird today

Version Two Lunchtime stroll = ugly couples, prams pushed by youth smell of corn on the cob eyebrow maintenance, baklava. Dull train update: man who looks squeezed at both ends, an accordion with glasses, a lucozade bottle half empty. A lady appears perplexed by a crossword clue (but it may be sudok...
by John G
Mon Jun 27, 2011 3:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: angry clowns
Replies: 13
Views: 877

Re: angry clowns

Thanks for all stopping by.

Have re-posted with David’s changes, however have decided to keep the first lines about car insurance as that was the main inspiration for the piece and was the jump of point for them being angry in the first place.
As always appreciate the feedback.
by John G
Tue Jun 21, 2011 5:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: angry clowns
Replies: 13
Views: 877

Re: angry clowns

just at work, so i'll keep i short, Geff, yep Mr Jelly is one scary clown, but not as scary as Silent Singer - and as fort the title, yep will probabaly make that change. Oskar and David, your right it probably needs shortening. The initial idea was from watching a car insurance advert which took me...
by John G
Tue Jun 21, 2011 3:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: angry clowns
Replies: 13
Views: 877

Re: angry clowns

Thanks for the pointers Mic, will look into them but given Brians feedback it seems the only thing that improve this is the delete button.

Brian, thanks for the honest feedback.
by John G
Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:23 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: angry clowns
Replies: 13
Views: 877

angry clowns

Version 2 Due to the history of falling apart clowns are finding it increasingly hard too get cheap car insurance. The clowns are angry but they don't show it. Behind white faces there is no hint of the resentment that grows underneath comically sized trousers. The clowns know they only make sense ...
by John G
Tue Jun 21, 2011 10:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Tales from the back room
Replies: 12
Views: 919

Re: Tales from the back room

I recall apparent days like this in my student years, reminds me of JG Ballard short story...and some excellant lines:
I survived by pissing through the abandoned cat flap.
we've all been there
by John G
Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The facts in the case
Replies: 6
Views: 548

Re: The facts in the case

atmospheric and i see Poirot twiddling with waxed 'tasche..naturally it leaves more questions but as for "is it poetry?", I'll leave that to those better qualified
by John G
Wed May 04, 2011 8:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: the end of a poem in draft
Replies: 8
Views: 633

Re: the end of a poem in draft

enjoyable read....s2 being my the best.

My only suggestion would be to change S1 to
all things must
come to an end
good or bad
or any of the
intervening greys
by John G
Wed May 04, 2011 8:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Limits to Ivan Illich
Replies: 10
Views: 814

Re: Limits to Ivan Illich

hello. really enjoyed the read / ride. Never heard of the chap before and after wiking him I have a better idea of the man, however not 100% sure I can reconcile that with the content of the poem. However, that is of no concern as i enjoyed the read, the absurdist flight of fancy, the equation is ex...
by John G
Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Some coping strategies for contractual hours
Replies: 13
Views: 836

Re: Some coping strategies for contractual hours

Geoff, the hours just refer to the time I’m contracted to work as a smallish cog in a big faceless wheel. I can’t believe you’ve never seen a pube in a latrine – this place is full for them but then again toilet etiquette is not a priority here. I appear to be surround by Neanderthals. Oskar, my ars...
by John G
Sat Mar 26, 2011 8:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Some coping strategies for contractual hours
Replies: 13
Views: 836

Re: Some coping strategies for contractual hours

Cheers Pete and thanks for sticking around and coming back!! What can I say, its shoddy – the lack of care with spelling etc. There is no excuses which make it all the more worse! Totally agree with what you’ve written.. I can accept no-one commenting because what I write isn’t good / to their taste...
by John G
Sat Mar 26, 2011 7:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Some coping strategies for contractual hours
Replies: 13
Views: 836

Some coping strategies for contractual hours

(with amendments and corrections) Tea tea drink plenty of tea the constant trips to a tiny shared kitchen with the stained aroma of 23 microwaved meals, or walk to the free vending machine where the tea inexplicably tastes of potatoes and the subsequent toilet time to expel the tea is an added bonus...
by John G
Sat Mar 26, 2011 7:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A War to end all Worlds
Replies: 8
Views: 572

Re: A War to end all Worlds

The beginning stanza, with the two Johnnys is great. Reminds of many a black and white film – can imagine John Miles and Johnny Gielgud in the trenches. War poems –so many out there which I would think makes this a difficult subject to tackle – so although this doesn’t (in my opinion) offer any thin...
by John G
Sat Mar 26, 2011 4:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: East Texas, 1963
Replies: 20
Views: 1368

Re: East Texas, 1963

Paints a sinister picture of Jim Cow America and I have visions of Sidney Politer doing his they call me Mr.Tibbs thang. Don’t know f the protagonist is white or black but I don’t think it really matters? Atmospheric read. I get the 1963 reference and the nod to the increasing power of the Civil Rig...
by John G
Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: March 18th 2011
Replies: 10
Views: 805

Re: March 18th 2011

Nice stuff Brian -
It's the thought of taking turns to vomit, of keeping daily charts of hair loss and lesions, comparing our reddening skin like excited sunbathers worshipping their fiery god, of measuring our tumours how we once measured sunflowers
excellent
by John G
Fri Mar 18, 2011 8:34 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Recommendations
Replies: 12
Views: 1080

Re: Recommendations

Cheers for the heads-up.

K, have checked out some Reading and shall be ordering some pronto. Also like what I’ve read by Ewart.

Both seem to be somewhat up my street, poetically speaking.
by John G
Mon Mar 14, 2011 8:27 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Recommendations
Replies: 12
Views: 1080

Re: Recommendations

Cheers Ros,

I do find myself on that site often and it has pointed me in some good directions. A good website.

However, for some reason I do prefer recommendations from people - ...
by John G
Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:44 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Mr. P. ordered his thoughts
Replies: 3
Views: 492

Mr. P. ordered his thoughts

a) the subscriptions needed cancelling b) payments are due c) anniversaries must be remembered He read the news, “teen mothers receive cancer scares prognosis via postcard” He couldn’t recall the missing scenes, He was reading American poetry on the top of a bus where the graffiti stank. Extracts fr...