Search found 5973 matches

by ray miller
Mon May 26, 2008 3:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Raining Cinnamon
Replies: 5
Views: 611

Re: Raining Cinnamon

Hello, this is clever and a pleasure to read. Though I too spent an appreciable amount of time wondering what cinnamon had to do with it. There's a couple of parts I don't understand damp starts seeping eastwards ? slidden? I cannot believe that is a word you hear in Birmingham, is it a word at all?...
by ray miller
Sun May 25, 2008 2:51 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Never Mine To Hold
Replies: 5
Views: 641

Re: Never Mine To Hold

I'm still not quite sure I understand this correctly even after perusing it several times. I originally thought that it was from a mother addressing the baby she had chosen, or been obliged, to give up. Now I think I understand it's from the, now adult, baby to the mother who forsook her. I find the...
by ray miller
Mon May 19, 2008 10:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Ripples
Replies: 5
Views: 752

Re: Ripples

I like this very much, there is an ever present feel of anger just below the surface. Tears welling up inside my throat is nice and poignant and I think the next line of I won't let them surface today is crucial to the whole poem. well done, ray
by ray miller
Sun May 18, 2008 1:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fledglings
Replies: 7
Views: 729

Re: Fledglings

I second everything Tom said, thought this was really quite excellent though if it were mine I'd call it a can of worms. Who would have imagined Northfield as a breeding ground for poetry? ray
by ray miller
Sat May 17, 2008 6:37 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Christmas List
Replies: 11
Views: 1171

Re: My Christmas List

Thanks for your comments and I agree that it is something that needs to be spoken, listened to rather than read. I have plans to perform it at The Big Chill this summer if I'm allowed. I am shocked at the suggestion that Amy Winehouse should be lined up against the wall alongside the likes of Sting ...
by ray miller
Thu May 15, 2008 9:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Missionary Man
Replies: 9
Views: 973

Re: Missionary Man

It's good I think and it's a pleasant change to read a poem which doesn't require the deductive powers of Sherlock Holmes. I agree with what others have said about the "chorus lines", could be better. My own small suggestion would be to omit the word wild in between performing and beasts, it's kind ...
by ray miller
Thu May 15, 2008 3:13 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: JCC
Replies: 2
Views: 719

Re: JCC

you should be grateful that he turned up at all! Went to see him in Cheltenham a few years back only to find he had cancelled and Martin Newell had been drafted in. He wasexcellent and kindly informed us that John was waylaid upon the planet Saturn-which we had kind of guessed. ray
by ray miller
Wed May 14, 2008 9:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My Christmas List
Replies: 11
Views: 1171

My Christmas List

I'm a Mental Nurse and I know about neurosis, maybe mine's got worse but nobody seems to notice. I'm at peace, it's believed, with each sister and brother, they don't see my heart bleed and the pain that I suffer! Like today, I'm in the office and I'm multi-tasking, I've got biscuits, coffees and a ...
by ray miller
Sun May 11, 2008 11:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fallen Phenoix (Working title for having a titles sake)
Replies: 3
Views: 532

Re: Fallen Phenoix (Working title for having a titles sake)

It grows on you after a few reads to the extent that I found myself caring about the fate of this chap. I agree with David that " of none who care" has a clumsiness to it . Also(with the mind of a child)doesn't really add much and I feel it could do without. A humble creak is an interesting descript...
by ray miller
Sun May 11, 2008 11:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Paris, 1989
Replies: 4
Views: 604

Re: Paris, 1989

Hello Richard, I like reflective and mildly poignant pieces such as this. Thought the first four lines had a nice rhythm and alliteration. There seems to be a preponderance of commas and I'm not sure they're all necessary. A line like "people below, tiny" could maybe become "tiny people below". The ...
by ray miller
Sun May 11, 2008 10:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hope
Replies: 15
Views: 1288

Re: Hope

To David and others, my tongue was firmly in my cheek when I wrote about Free Verse and pronunciation-it was meant as a joke and I thought would be apparent as such. It seemed the debate needed lightening a little. I agree entirely with what was said regarding the right words in the right places etc...
by ray miller
Sun May 11, 2008 2:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Hope
Replies: 15
Views: 1288

Re: Hope

Isn't it true that Free Verse is simply the preserve of those unsure of their pronunciation? Obviously there are merits in both rhyming and non-rhyming poetry but why let that spoil a good argument? What I have observed is that Modern Poetry has become synonymous with non-rhyming verse and there exi...
by ray miller
Sun May 11, 2008 2:04 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Surface Thoughts
Replies: 6
Views: 732

Re: Surface Thoughts

Thanks for the comments. The poem is and must remain vague, the corpse has not yet been found and I'm not about to give any more clues.... Actually, it's not that opaque, the "theme" being the death of a close relationship and how such traumatic events colour our perceptions. The misbehaving mind re...
by ray miller
Thu May 08, 2008 11:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Surface Thoughts
Replies: 6
Views: 732

Surface Thoughts

So you're leaving this evening of August in the silence succeeding sunset with the ocean spread open before us and our skin superficially wet from the splinters of sea that are splashing on this sand which we briefly impressed. In the twilight the first star is flashing, is it sending out signs of d...
by ray miller
Fri May 02, 2008 11:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Emptiness pervades within
Replies: 7
Views: 787

Re: Emptiness pervades within

That's most perceptive, barrie, especially as I'd forgotten where this had originated myself! It has all come flooding back. The line "sentences both short and long" nods in acknowledgement at the uneven metre,which I'd noticed in Eliot's work-or some of it. I have to agree about the third line, don...
by ray miller
Thu May 01, 2008 11:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Emptiness pervades within
Replies: 7
Views: 787

Emptiness pervades within

It fills the room and strokes each wall, a stale and stagnant, smoky pall as if the seasons stalled and stuck late autumn, and time lay still awaiting its' post-mortem. Soft moans escape from rambling lips, the sound of silk on fingertips. Sweat congregates upon my skin yet emptiness pervades within...
by ray miller
Thu May 01, 2008 11:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Just about bees
Replies: 22
Views: 1601

Re: Just about bees

hello tom this lack of punctuation is growing on me but maybe we could be rid of the capitals as well did e e cummings forgo capitals and punctuation or just the capitals?
lots of little subtleties in your stuff particularly liked gold and power queen and honey (country?) well done ray
by ray miller
Thu May 01, 2008 10:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Stuffed Love
Replies: 8
Views: 899

Re: Stuffed Love

Hi, I got the impression that the poem was about someone physically disabled but with a fully active and sound mind and the dilemmas which ensue. It would be interesting to know what is intended by "near cripple". Wouldn't the third line read better as The dinner plates are out in all their finery? ...
by ray miller
Thu May 01, 2008 1:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: eats leaves
Replies: 10
Views: 925

Re: eats leaves

Hello Tom, I know next to nothing about haikus or what has been said of your lack of punctuation, it makes the reader work harder doesn't it and allows greater rein to the imagination? No bad thing, and I think your lines interpretation affected by the absence of punctuation are mighty impressive. F...
by ray miller
Mon Apr 28, 2008 8:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Humanist Funeral Rap
Replies: 10
Views: 1119

Re: A Humanist Funeral Rap

Thanks for the comments, very helpful and interesting. Don't know whether it is apparent or perhaps blindingly obvious but I did actually read this at my father's funeral, at least a slightly shorter and different version. I did rehearse it endlessly with my children as audience, wore a trilby hat a...
by ray miller
Fri Apr 25, 2008 8:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Humanist Funeral Rap
Replies: 10
Views: 1119

A Humanist Funeral Rap

This is meant as a token of filial affection, I hope it isn't taken in another direction. All these sat down sad frowns ain't what's wanted talking on tiptoe like the place was haunted! He paid no heed to the creed of spirit and ghost, there's just us - just once - and you have to make the most... I...
by ray miller
Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:33 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Upon Harriet Island
Replies: 9
Views: 918

Re: Upon Harriet Island

I think the point about the sky is that it can appear to be serene and calm despite turbulence etc. as the effortless elegance of swans belies activity beneath the surface. That said I'd assumed you were talking of birds of prey-another aspect of the non-human world. So what do I know? Thought the e...
by ray miller
Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:04 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: I'm glad you've lived
Replies: 8
Views: 876

Re: I'm glad you've lived

To me it reads a little envious and spiteful even, at least the final verse. Fat lady in a diner eating a pie-why the shamed face? First two verses I like but should it not be symmetry with rather than to?