Search found 4586 matches

by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:47 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: poison
Replies: 6
Views: 600

poison

some days the poison
I diligently keep guarded,
tucked cautiously behind my heart,
erupts,
momentarily distorting my vision
and leaving a foul residue on my flapping tongue.
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:43 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Almost A Pavement Cafe (OCTOBER FEATURE)
Replies: 31
Views: 2191

Re: Almost A Pavement Cafe

Can I come, too? You had my attention immediately with the red wine shadow, ahhh. and then I felt irritated that those other outside, fashionable influences were intruding on us, until you took us out to the little island with the tanning pebbles. This was very lovely, like a little vacation. Suzanne
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Looking into the rain
Replies: 7
Views: 719

Re: Looking into the rain

I enjoy this mood. It seems very familiar to me and I would like to read more!

Suzanne
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Dissolved
Replies: 10
Views: 900

Re: Dissolved

great. The line about having no cake is the best line of all. I think that the feelings are universal but the personal loss of having no cake, that made the poem unique/personal to the brokenhearted speaker... and the reader became an empathic viewer. I want to get this girl a nice warm blanket and ...
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:15 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Sigh
Replies: 6
Views: 643

Re: Sigh

This was wonderful and painful to read. I loved it. I can not think of anything that I did not see as perfectly part of the whole idea.
ouch and wow.

Suzanne
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 3:07 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lost (revised)
Replies: 12
Views: 1143

Re: Lost

Wahoo! I totally enjoyed being critiqued. That was a fun experience, to my surprise. thank you for all of your input. I really enjoy the second part (S2?) This poem is first hand experience and when these words hit the page, it was so true to the way I feel at those times. It is a spinning, repeatin...
by Suzanne
Tue Oct 21, 2008 2:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lost (revised)
Replies: 12
Views: 1143

Re: Lost

(revision)

Sometimes,
I get lost.
I don't know why I go,
or how I can be found,
but I know I get lost,
for a few days,
lost.

Sucked into the mire
by my thoughts,
by my words,
by the drone
of the flow,
of the sounds
of the hum in my head...
I get lost
for a few days,
sometimes.
by Suzanne
Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:28 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hi.
Replies: 5
Views: 1120

Hi.

Hi. I am really new to poetry and willing to learn how to improve my writing.

I will admit very honestly that I do not know much about the rules of poetry. I only know that I have recently enjoyed writing what could be polished up to look like real poetry.... that is why I am here.

Suzanne
by Suzanne
Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:22 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lost (revised)
Replies: 12
Views: 1143

Lost (revised)

Lost Sometimes, I get lost. I don't know why I go, or how I can be found, but I know I get lost, for a few days, lost. Sucked into the mire by my thoughts, by my words, by the drone of the flow, of the sounds of the hum in my head I get lost. __________________________________________ Lost (Original...
by Suzanne
Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: bourbon soda over ice
Replies: 11
Views: 954

Re: bourbon soda over ice

This was fun! I like the revision better than the original. Reading the revision was smooth and flowed nicely in my imagination. I've been here, I've thought that... however, in my mind, the last 3 lines could easily read: and clarity. And whether there is any point trying to resist perpetual confus...
by Suzanne
Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:08 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Superficial(re-write)
Replies: 22
Views: 1569

Re: Superficial

Re: Superficial Hi. I enjoyed this and liked the mood. I enjoyed the feeling of being told an unpolished story from a reflective point of view. I think that there are some things that I would leave out or strip down, as you said, but you were going to look at it later. The fond memories of people fr...