Search found 4586 matches

by Suzanne
Tue Dec 20, 2016 4:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: By the Stem
Replies: 10
Views: 1311

Re: By the Stem

This it a nice moment to share with the poet. The mention of Peter Frampton adds a lot to the imagery, saying music or beat or something more generic would have less atmosphere.

I enjoyed its brevity.
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 7:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Comfy Chair
Replies: 11
Views: 1450

Re: Waiting for a Cape

Thank you, Ian, for your detailed crit. I have been thinking about it and just am unsure what to say. I'm disappointed that what seemed so clear in my mind didn't come across to the page. There is always the temptation to explain a poem that doesn't work rather than rework it. And I'd rather rework ...
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 7:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Plum tree
Replies: 8
Views: 1068

Re: Plum tree

Hi k-j, I feel/think this is truly beautiful. I've never been great with critiques, so apologize for not offering tweaking points. Though I'll concur and say I was distracted by the [wait]. The rest just flowed. I loved how slowly it was paced and how it was sensual, nearly tactile. I think it is a ...
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 7:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Buoyancy
Replies: 16
Views: 1699

Re: Buoyancy

Well, yes. I know you can blow up. It just would be pushing the metaphor into a comical place.

Can't, as in, not a good idea poetically, in my opinion, in this poem.

Suzanne
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 4:36 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Buoyancy
Replies: 16
Views: 1699

Re: Buoyancy

No, you can't blow up. Lol.
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:52 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Bedside Geranium
Replies: 5
Views: 917

Re: A Bedside Geranium

Hi Lou,

I enjoyed the metaphor. I was wondering if the focus at the end could be strong as
the same image but from the opposite perspective of freedom, like what the N gave the geranium? Just a thought.

Suzanne
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 9:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Establishing Boundaries with Bullies
Replies: 12
Views: 2277

Establishing Boundaries with Bullies

Establishing Boundaries with Bullies Part of a cardboard box slumps frosted over the top of my bird feeder filled this afternoon with assorted seeds. From my favorite chair, I watch eight yellow tits take turns, little feet clutching the cylinder that swings lightly with their weight. Yesterday, the...
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:42 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Transition
Replies: 10
Views: 1828

Re: Transition

This is very good, Beginner Poet.
Are you happy with it six months later?

Got anything new?

Warmly,
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Re: Gossip

Thanks Ian, I understand how this changed the opening of the poem. changes things.I have mixed feeling as I like the blunt opening as well but... let's see over time as it settles. Thanks you, Crayon, for the input and thoughtfulness. The book is understood from the context of "they" and "Christian ...
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Buoyancy
Replies: 16
Views: 1699

Re: Buoyancy

Grabbed my attention. I think that unravel could be exchanged for something relating to balloons, not sure what but the balloon metaphor works so well that unravels stands out as odd. I don't think you need the Caring only for their kid,- line at all. The image of two separate balloons tied to the g...
by Suzanne
Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:01 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: My happiness is like the plague. - Revision II
Replies: 19
Views: 2248

Re: My happiness is like the plague.

Hi Luce, Recently, I was teaching in an environment of hummers. As they worked, they didn't even seem to notice they were humming. It did have the thought that is must a a contagion. They were young children and I thought their regular teacher must hum. My issue is that happiness is not really somet...
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 1:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Re: Gossip

thanks Luke... I will change one dead to done. thanks.
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Re: Gossip

??
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 12:05 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Re: Gossip

OOooo now that jogged me into thought, Ian. Combining your comment and Peter's would solidify this nicely.

Shhh... let me think.
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Comfy Chair
Replies: 11
Views: 1450

Re: Waiting for a Cape

This is another old one. Written Jan 2011. I am thinking about putting a little performance together. This might be a good one to open with, if it sound. Is it sound? How does it sound?
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Comfy Chair
Replies: 11
Views: 1450

The Comfy Chair

The Comfy Chair I want, so live in wait for something to stand in big black boots before me, make its presence known, stamp its foot, challenge me to decide. Something that will correct my gaze, the silly tip of my head, the defiant jut of chin, pointed as if with a thin layer of new self- knowledge...
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Loneliness
Replies: 6
Views: 840

Re: Loneliness

Wonderful.

I would do this:

when they came no more
the wolf consumed the boy.


Well captured title.
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: In Defence of Monarchy (v2)
Replies: 12
Views: 1353

Re: In Defence of Monarchy (v2)

Oh, Seth, you have the loveliest sense of humor and thoughtfulness.
I often feel as if I have received a personal postcard when reading your poems.

Would be a nice hand written note.

Warmly,
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:47 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: My smattering of Swahili
Replies: 12
Views: 1477

Re: My smattering of Swahili

Thank you, David, for the visual imagery of these two. I really liked the female's description and could picture her quite well. I think the title is good and also did not mind the India/ Africa tiger. I think that the collection of such tings by most people is a mishmash of the globe. You have done...
by Suzanne
Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Re: Gossip

Hello to Everyone, Nice to be back.Thank you for the welcome. X I have not been writing much, if at all. I miss it and you terribly. I found this going through some old mail. It was written about a year after my mother's death. She was not boring, for sure. And quite sane as well. I remember her cry...
by Suzanne
Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gossip
Replies: 18
Views: 2037

Gossip

Gossip In 1956, she dyed her hair red. "Going to hell" they said. She said she didn't remember reading that in the book and was kicked out of the Christian college. "Assume they will talk about you- if they don't, you are either dead or boring." I quote my mother who is dead. Her point was to live a...
by Suzanne
Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Don't call again.
Replies: 11
Views: 1285

Re: Don't call again.

Oh, Pauline!

I am envious of how you put this emotion into words. Such a nice spew of passion. The image of the N standing squarely addressing the man is strong.

I liked the dentist line, too.

Well done!
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Wed Dec 14, 2016 5:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Little Mayor
Replies: 18
Views: 1874

Re: Little Mayor

Hi Lou,

I enjoy this very much. I thought the description s were vivid and liked the rhymes.

It was like a bit of cinema itself.

Thanks for the pleasant read,
Suzanne
by Suzanne
Mon Jul 25, 2016 2:01 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016
Replies: 110
Views: 46863

Re: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016

Lol.

I am pretty darn sorry to miss out on any of the mentioned combinations.
by Suzanne
Sat Jul 23, 2016 6:17 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016
Replies: 110
Views: 46863

Re: Poets' Graves meet-up 2016

Hi.

I was a definite but have become a no. :-( . I have been dragging my feet to say it aloud. I am sorry but I can not make it as I wished.

Warmly,
Suzanne