Search found 6209 matches

by Ros
Fri Jun 09, 2017 3:03 pm
Forum: Forum News and Support
Topic: Apologies
Replies: 1
Views: 3005

Re: Apologies

Hi Nicola,

Many thanks for getting it sorted!

Ros
by Ros
Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:59 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Good Things (2/3)
Replies: 14
Views: 1630

Re: Good Things (2/3)

I take it this follows on from (1/3)?

Intriguing, particularly the 'again'.

Ros
by Ros
Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Clear Skies (1/3)
Replies: 7
Views: 2063

Re: Clear Skies (1/3)

I agree with the previous posters, the first two stanzas work well. You have a couple of comma splices in the second two, which I think make the rhythm a problem - I lied before, there is also the coldness of the water that mars the moment, and makes me remember. here I feel the first comma should e...
by Ros
Fri Jun 09, 2017 2:49 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On not knowing where to look for you (revised)
Replies: 22
Views: 3132

Re: On not knowing where to look for you (revised)

It's always the middle bit! (unless it's the end bit). I wonder if I can get away with no middle bit? I think you're right, Julian, I've lost the feel of the original. I'm trying to keep it really simple, while not stretching the science too far.

Feynmann was great.

Ros
by Ros
Thu Jun 08, 2017 11:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On not knowing where to look for you (revised)
Replies: 22
Views: 3132

Re: On not knowing where to look for you (revised)

Thanks, Ray - glad it's a bit clearer for you.

Thanks for coming back, Not. I agree that part makes up the numbers - but making up the numbers is important, or the 5% is meaningless. The metaphor is that the narrator is only finding echoes of themselves in it. But I'd agree this isn't there yet!

Ros
by Ros
Tue Jun 06, 2017 8:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On not knowing where to look for you (revised)
Replies: 22
Views: 3132

Re: On not knowing where to look for you

bjondon wrote:Hi Ros,

this piece has stuck in my mind for the last three weeks

Julian
That's about the nicest thing you could say, Julian! Welcome to PG! I'll take your comments on board. And thanks, David, too. I'll see if I can push this in the right direction.

Ros
by Ros
Tue Jun 06, 2017 11:27 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: We're back!
Replies: 3
Views: 2168

We're back!

Stating the obvious, obviously. I don't know what happened to PG over the weekend, but thank to whoever fixed it!

Ros
by Ros
Fri May 26, 2017 2:18 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Turning Over an Old Leaf (Version 2)
Replies: 9
Views: 1270

Re: Turning Over an Old Leaf

I take it the euphanism is meant?

I'm a little confused by the move from tree leaf - person - leaf of a book. 'Outstretched wings, the swell of breasts,' is a bit of a mixed image to me - wings of a seed? or a bird? I like the tone of the piece.


Ros
by Ros
Fri May 26, 2017 2:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dilettante (edit)
Replies: 7
Views: 917

Re: Dilettante

Enjoyed, but I wondered about a dilettante having such depths -surely the point is that they are someone who only acquires superficial knowledge. The mention of non sequiturs fits with that, but not something so deep you'd have to immerse yourself?

Ros
by Ros
Wed May 24, 2017 2:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Immortal Earl Bostic
Replies: 8
Views: 840

Re: The Immortal Earl Bostic

Nicely done - I think the stresses and rhymes work well and the story's great. The line break here

to find inside/a record collection

is perhaps a bit strained - I'd expect the inside to remain attached to its object.

Ros
by Ros
Wed May 24, 2017 2:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Our First Shop At Asda (revision3)
Replies: 18
Views: 4247

Re: No Arrest At Asda (revised)

Oh no! Are they on the nick at Asda, pushing the goodies through the daughter/sister? It all fits. The arrest, or lack of it due to Flynn's blind eye, and the stocking up on certain dearer items. Even the wellies could conceal a thing or two. And there was me thinking the family were out in force t...
by Ros
Fri May 19, 2017 5:48 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Antiphon
Replies: 6
Views: 2451

Re: Antiphon

David wrote:Well done Tristan. A good place to be.

I believe the editors can be very difficult.

Cheers

David
They are real sods. It shows the value of persistence!
by Ros
Thu May 18, 2017 12:48 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What Blake didn't say about Innocence (Was: 'Innocence')
Replies: 26
Views: 2664

Re: What Blake didn't say (Was: 'Innocence')

(I know you're a fan of the short poem, but I'd like to see you get your teeth into something longer, something where the implications of the metaphor are discussed and developed).
by Ros
Thu May 18, 2017 12:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: What Blake didn't say about Innocence (Was: 'Innocence')
Replies: 26
Views: 2664

Re: What Blake didn't say (Was: 'Innocence')

My opinion would be that if you're going to reference Blake them you do need rather more to back it up, preferably in a Blakean style. I'm afraid at the moment it leaves me feeling a bit 'yes, and?' (since we're being untimid!). Young animals test boundaries. Not sure it actually has much reference ...
by Ros
Thu May 18, 2017 12:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: On the Shoulders of Giants
Replies: 10
Views: 1099

Re: On the Shoulders of Giants

Interesting, NQS. I think you need a closer rhyme for v1 - this far/liars doesn't work for me. Personally I feel if you're going for a fairly close rhyme scheme and a fairly formal poem it would be nice to keep the stress count consistent, too - ie. make it a properly metrical poem (with some substi...
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 8:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A Little Bedtime Riddle
Replies: 7
Views: 937

Re: A Little Bedtime Riddle

I know!
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 2:55 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How to be a writer
Replies: 16
Views: 4551

Re: How to be a writer

It's all a matter of taste, I'm sure. I'm finding I have so much unformed rambling submitted to antiphon that I'm a bit relieved to find something where the poet has at least thought about the structure.

Ros
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 2:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Off The Cuff
Replies: 5
Views: 983

Re: Off The Cuff

This has had a lot of reads, but no one's dived in. It's rather opaque to me. Taking a blood pressure measurement? But then circumscribing a territory vulnerable to all trespass and time seems rather over the top for saying something is round someone's arm. That's my interpretation of v1, but I get ...
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 2:37 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How to be a writer
Replies: 16
Views: 4551

Re: How to be a writer

I'm not sure I could write a poem without prepositions, auxiliary verbs, articles, relative pronouns. I'd agree that adverbs and adjectives are often avoided, but doesn't that just leave nouns and verbs? that's a bit limiting.
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 2:35 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How to be a writer
Replies: 16
Views: 4551

Re: How to be a writer

No, I meant Kay Ryan would pass the liking two-thirds of the book rule, so she's on my first list too.
by Ros
Wed May 10, 2017 1:44 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: How to be a writer
Replies: 16
Views: 4551

Re: How to be a writer

James - redundancy? you really find that?

I like Kay Ryan too. She'd be on my 2/3rds list.

Ros
by Ros
Tue May 09, 2017 9:43 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Bees Breakfast Anthology
Replies: 8
Views: 2802

Re: Bees Breakfast Anthology

An interesting collaboration. Pity there's no hint of any of the poems they publish on the website to give an indication of what the books are like. Have either of you been involved in their previous publications?

Ros
by Ros
Tue May 09, 2017 7:57 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Bees Breakfast Anthology
Replies: 8
Views: 2802

Re: Bees Breakfast Anthology

Well done both. Looks good. Who is publishing it?

Ros
by Ros
Mon May 08, 2017 1:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Vertigo - version 2
Replies: 7
Views: 1008

Re: Vertigo

I think you're up the Herefordshire beacon. I like the details.