Search found 5161 matches

by Macavity
Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:00 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Manu Dibango
Replies: 0
Views: 427

Manu Dibango

by Macavity
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In Isolation (v6?)
Replies: 24
Views: 1124

Re: In Isolation (v4)

I can hear my neighbours'
breathing. How quickly
sound travels. How thin
are the walls of our cells.
Quite liked the original myself :D One thought travels to another. I can hear the musing.


cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Reputation
Replies: 10
Views: 583

Re: Reputation

I enjoyed the poem set-up, the motivations of altruism. And those lines we cross for the 'good cause'. Yes, the ending delivers too. I guess the future is masked and so may we all be!

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Once More, With Meaning
Replies: 9
Views: 670

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Interesting Jackie. Like the sounds, the sense of strategy, and the interaction. The poem draws the reader into games of ambition, limitation, submission. I like the repetition of forfeit, no matter the compass point, that is the outcome.

best

mac
by Macavity
Fri Apr 03, 2020 8:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Brief Word for Rooms
Replies: 13
Views: 637

Re: A Brief Word for Rooms

hi Trevor, An ambitious piece, that does have interest, but like the other readers I am not absorbed into the poem's world. This could be due to reader baggage: my perception is that rooms are defined by us, how we use them, what we put in them. They are a blank page to which we give meaning and per...
by Macavity
Thu Apr 02, 2020 9:20 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats David
Replies: 2
Views: 448

Re: Congrats David

Yes, congrats David. Always rewarding to read you.

best

mac
by Macavity
Sat Mar 28, 2020 4:00 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Ink Sweat and Tears (1)
Replies: 4
Views: 292

Re: Ink Sweat and Tears (1)

Thanks Not. A bit of a journey that one.

cheers

mac
by Macavity
Sat Mar 28, 2020 9:07 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Ink Sweat and Tears (1)
Replies: 4
Views: 292

Ink Sweat and Tears (1)

I have one appearing here...

http://www.inksweatandtears.co.uk/pages/?p=21491

Thank you for everyone's help.

best

mac
by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 8:38 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: JJ Cale - Carry On
Replies: 1
Views: 210

JJ Cale - Carry On

by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 7:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)

Thanks for staying with this Not and David. And thanks too Tristan (though I know this is not to your taste - I have restored the phrase you like, but kept with the cliche). I've returned to the original title, but changed the intended victim :D

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 1:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Schemes After Reading Will's Dark Lady Sonnets

Thanks Not. I've cut a dash. The title amuses me :D

Cheers

Mac
by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 3:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Fencers (revision2)
Replies: 11
Views: 931

Re: The Fencers (revision2)

giv[ing] pulse to purpose. [Not so crazy about this line. I guess it feels a bit too contrived or something] You're probably right Trev. pulse is one of those words that I default to for significance, though here I was also hooked by the plosives in the line to echo the hammer blows. May go back to...
by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

Thanks for coming back David. I'd cut those lines because they were causing confusion.

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Thu Mar 26, 2020 2:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Air-born
Replies: 12
Views: 964

Re: Air-born

Welcome to the forum Trevor. Enjoyed your write. The progression to the society of birds was a logical conclusion, though where wings are speaking a new language is a quality line to seal the poem. I like the ambition in the phrasing - though I first read gusty as gutsy :D and didn't understand eyeb...
by Macavity
Tue Mar 24, 2020 2:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

Fair enough Not. I've axed the extra confusion :)

best

mac
by Macavity
Tue Mar 24, 2020 1:31 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

That's disappointing Not. I presume you got the ref. to the Dark Lady sonnets?

best

mac
by Macavity
Tue Mar 24, 2020 7:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

Hi JJ. In is indeed Will :D Hopefully, the concluding lines will nudge that intention. notably S1L3, where 7 syllables and a feminine ending disrupt the flow a tad (not terribly so), IE /in THAT/ BEGGared/, so RAGG/ed, giving three feet. It's possible you're stressing IN. I did quite like the origin...
by Macavity
Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

Thanks Not. and David.
enjoying the title even more today. Takes everything up a notch or seven.
Yes, it does promise much - as David says - added some lines to the body, hopefully not opaque ones :D

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Mon Mar 23, 2020 6:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

Thanks Not. Pleased you like the title - I do too! I've restored and tweaked. I like to create/hear a soundscape in poems so I kept the hard 'g' sonics.

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Sat Mar 21, 2020 11:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Perfidy (revision)

Thanks for that link Not. Most interesting. The poem is poor. but at least it has progressed with your help. Appreciated. I shall leave the tinkering for now, though may pick up on some of your suggestions in future.

all the best

mac
by Macavity
Fri Mar 20, 2020 4:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Perfidy (revision)

You tempt me with a comma? Okay then :) I'll run with the poetic redolent too. Cloth is back. Some passages sourced... Give me an ounce of civet, good apothecary, to sweeten my imagination. (Lear Act 4 Scene 6 Apothecary Such mortal drugs I have, but Mantua’s law Is death to any he that utters them....
by Macavity
Fri Mar 20, 2020 1:32 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Perfidy (revision)

Thanks Not. I very much like that structural suggestion. For once I will not dither. I've attempted to clarify some of the narrative.

best

mac
by Macavity
Wed Mar 18, 2020 9:37 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Not in Ink Sweat & Tears
Replies: 2
Views: 549

Re: Not in Ink Sweat & Tears

Congrats from me too Not!

best

mac
by Macavity
Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:24 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Billions of stars (v3)
Replies: 16
Views: 1189

Re: Billions of stars (v3)

hi Tristan, I found the poem more interesting in the original, perhaps because I've an interest in distraction , but also the nefarious nature of the darkness was more evident. As always, a matter of taste. The revisions offer a more personal, less metaphysical, expression. A tentative suggestion wo...
by Macavity
Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:19 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2252

Re: Arranged

Hello David. How are you? I wouldn't spend too much time on this nonsense. The fun was dipping into my Shakespeare DVD's :) Any chance of a David poem coming to PG soon? :D

all the best

mac