Search found 11635 matches

by David
Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Billions of stars (v3)
Replies: 16
Views: 1232

Re: Billions of stars (v3)

David, thanks for your continued interest. You are right, I’m not keen on the ‘inspirational’ tone of your suggestion. I agree. And, of what you have left, I think V2 is the best. It doesn't really convey very much in that form, but at least is not marred by the slightly unwieldy moralising of V3 a...
by David
Tue Mar 17, 2020 5:14 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Swell Mob
Replies: 5
Views: 532

Re: The Swell Mob

I thought it had the feel of a true story (as most of your poems do. I would say.)

Very good anyway.
by David
Mon Mar 16, 2020 7:26 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Billions of stars (v3)
Replies: 16
Views: 1232

Re: Billions of stars (v3)

I have some sympathy with Mac's point about the original version, although I'm not sure I'd describe the darkness as nefarious. I've never been particularly taken with the other side of the analogy - "The small successes drive us on, / make our lives more bearable ..." in V4 - but I like the paradox...
by David
Sun Mar 15, 2020 10:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2409

Re: Arranged

Actually, I think the title is more significant than I realised at first. But how?
by David
Sun Mar 15, 2020 10:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2409

Re: Arranged

You seem to have gone all Shakespearean, Mac - or Websterian? - but in tetrameter. Which is interesting.

I can hear echoes of individual plays, but see no direct parallels. Yet. Will mull.

David
by David
Sat Mar 14, 2020 2:41 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Swell Mob
Replies: 5
Views: 532

Re: The Swell Mob

True story?
by David
Wed Mar 11, 2020 5:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Monday Tomorrow (v2)
Replies: 14
Views: 1279

Re: Monday Tomorrow

Yes, I thought I saw attempted suicide in the first line. You do seem to be rather cross with the NHS about it. Or at least with how they're dealing with it. Is "back" missing from the revised L9? I like the ending. Shibboleths seemed out of place to me at first, too, but in the sense of things you ...
by David
Tue Mar 10, 2020 5:34 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Billions of stars (v3)
Replies: 16
Views: 1232

Re: Billions of stars (v3)

I can't read your poem without thinking of this, Tristan: https://www.shmoop.com/quotes/all-in-the-gutter-but-some-of-us-are-looking-at-the-stars.html

Quite a nice-looking site that, actually. I like the Pretentious Factor.
by David
Mon Mar 09, 2020 7:19 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Billions of stars (v3)
Replies: 16
Views: 1232

Re: A foreground of a billion stars (Was: Billions of tiny stars)

Do you need to frame it as a paradox, Tristan? I think that what you're getting at, if it's what you say in your last post, would work just as well (okay, better, in my opinion) if stated more plainly (but still keeping your stars and your darkness - and your looker). Perhaps in some variation of th...
by David
Fri Mar 06, 2020 6:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: 1985 - version 2
Replies: 8
Views: 683

Re: 1985 - version 2

Always a pleasure to walk a mile - or a few hundred yards, at least - in your shoes, Ray. Before Enoch Powell made his Rivers of Blood speech he was renowned for his Water towers speech which augured the closure of asylums and Care in the Community. I did not know that. And would he have been a vagu...
by David
Thu Mar 05, 2020 5:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A skunk (v2)
Replies: 9
Views: 751

Re: A skunk (v2)

Yes, hello k-j. Long time indeed. I join in the general applause. I wonder about whisky. Nerve gas might seem more appropriate. Wondered about sec too. Nice to see Burton getting an outing. I think I can follow the final stanza, but it's a tricky one. And I may have taken a false step. Very good, th...
by David
Sun Jan 12, 2020 1:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Short of the Moon (V3)
Replies: 14
Views: 1050

Re: Short of the Moon (revision)

The most surprising toy here is the line 'Of my illness' - apparently being described in the same terms as the boiler. I was hoping the reader would wonder what that was doing there and slowly begin to see the possibility that everything said in this offhand conversational way about the whole boile...
by David
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:03 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Mac's Watercolour Attempts January
Replies: 4
Views: 896

Re: Mac's Watercolour Attempts January

Hi Mac. I like S3. What if you started with that and went on from there? I'd like to find out.

Cheers

David
by David
Sat Jan 11, 2020 5:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Safe Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 731

Re: Courtship

I like it, but "bites" seems an inadequate way of putting her coups de grace. Of course there may be - and meant to be - an ironic reference to "love bites". But the furst line is so terrific that I want the rest of the poem to take its rhythmic cue from it - something like this ... ? Miss Mantis re...
by David
Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:16 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Festiveness
Replies: 6
Views: 4054

Re: Festiveness

Hello Jane! You are an even rarer visitor than me, aren't you? And much more exotic. Hello Pauline! Hope you and the family are well. It would be very nice to meet up with you all again, some time. Ah well, like Rick and Ilsa in Casablanca , we'll always have ... where was it? That pub somewhere in ...
by David
Mon Dec 30, 2019 5:03 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Snakeskin - December 2019
Replies: 4
Views: 747

Re: Snakeskin - December 2019

Mac, Tristan, thanks.

The usual suspects, I would say. I appreciate it, anyway.

The old collective spirit is sadly lacking here these days, isn't it?

Cheers

David
by David
Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:02 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Snakeskin - December 2019
Replies: 4
Views: 747

Snakeskin - December 2019

I may be lying relatively low at the moment – taking a rest from the reciprocal grind – but I’m not above a little seasonal self-advertisement ... (two in here).

http://www.snakeskinpoetry.co.uk/

(Damn hyperlinks still not working?)

David
by David
Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:52 am
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Festiveness
Replies: 6
Views: 4054

Re: Festiveness

Thanks Mac.

And thanks Sid. Nice to meet you.

I like these three-letter appellations (not Appalachians) - they're very efficient.

Cheers

Dvd
by David
Sun Dec 22, 2019 12:31 pm
Forum: Any Other Business
Topic: Festiveness
Replies: 6
Views: 4054

Festiveness

I know I've been conspicuous - and maybe not even conspicuous - only by my absence lately, but I still keep a (relatively) benign eye on things, and I may get back to more active participation some time. So Happy Christmas anyway.

Gold bless us, one and all.

David
by David
Wed Oct 16, 2019 5:05 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Runcible Spoon
Replies: 7
Views: 1345

Re: Runcible Spoon

ray miller wrote:
Wed Oct 16, 2019 10:24 am
Thanks all. 1660's, based on a book by Daniel Defoe.
I'll take that. I'm not far out. In the right century - a couple of decades off - anyway.
by David
Sun Oct 13, 2019 11:31 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Acumen
Replies: 8
Views: 1358

Re: Acumen

Macavity wrote:
Sun Oct 13, 2019 9:26 am
There was some discussion about the poem's title on the thread, but clearly you never changed it.
I had forgotten that! No, you're right, I didn't. Stubborn, see?
by David
Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:56 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Acumen
Replies: 8
Views: 1358

Re: Acumen

Firebird wrote:
Sat Oct 12, 2019 5:39 pm
Anyway, Country Roads is an excellent poem. I’ve gone back to it a few times now and I’m still enjoying it.
Glad to hear it! Thanks Tristan.
by David
Sat Oct 12, 2019 6:27 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: A poem that I read today by Mac
Replies: 67
Views: 9387

Re: A poem that I read today by Mac

Ah yes. This is supposedly the George Herbert poem, in the sense that it's (possibly) his best. There are many other good ones.

And this is a good read about him: https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/aug/15/music-midnight-herbert-drury-review
by David
Sat Oct 12, 2019 3:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Girardus Cambrensis
Replies: 10
Views: 1515

Re: Girardus Cambrensis

I know little about Hopkins apart from sprung rhythm and I can't even remember what that is exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if you've employed it in this poem, though. Ha! I wish. Thanks Ray. To be honest, I don't think (in my ignorance, no doubt) that sprung rhythm is really the great innovation ...
by David
Sat Oct 12, 2019 3:29 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Acumen
Replies: 8
Views: 1358

Re: Acumen

Thank you Tristan! Gosh, I did not realise the submission rate was so high. That's bucked me up somewhat! This is my second one there. It's strange: I've made no impression at all on Magma, for instance - except that I was shortlisted once - and have had a measly one poem in The Rialto, but that fai...