Search found 474 matches

by David2
Sat Oct 05, 2013 11:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries
Replies: 18
Views: 3684

Re: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries

k-j wrote:I was expecting the Steve to be Hawking, sitting in Isaac's chair, finishing off his thought
That seems to me exactly the right idea. Any linking of Newton and Jobs could only, for me, be ironic.
by David2
Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:49 am
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats to Magpie Jane/Snakeskin1
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Congrats to Magpie Jane/Snakeskin1

Antcliff wrote:
You're kidding? There's another one? Really?
Yeh. You'd have thought I would have no competition in the "has poems in Snakeskin/called Seth" category. It's a mean old world. :shock:
I think a Venn diagram is called for.
by David2
Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:17 am
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Jazz interlude..
Replies: 11
Views: 4049

Re: Jazz interlude..

There's something about this sort of thing that takes me straight back to the Kon Tiki bar at Butlins, Ayr in 1967. All bamboo and potted palm trees. I was 9, and could I get a decent daiquiri? I could not. Sounds to me like there's a poem in there somewhere.. Y'know, that's what I was thinking ...
by David2
Sat Oct 05, 2013 10:12 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Waterways1..just out/going with this image
Replies: 11
Views: 1245

Re: Waterways1..just out/going with this image

Hi Seth, I agree with Jane about the questioning format - be bold, and say what it is. Thirteen times, perhaps? Why not? (Oops - questioning format!) Each a little wilder.
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:13 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: More Ossian
Replies: 12
Views: 4547

Re: More Ossian

twoleftfeet wrote:Can you understand this one?
That would probably be something like Oie vie erriu to us. Manx looks much less attractive than the other Gaelic languages written down, probably because it was first written down - practically phonetically - for us, by an outsider.

It's lovely. (The song.)
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:06 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: Farmer's Valley, Pennsylvania
Replies: 6
Views: 1542

Re: Farmer's Valley, Pennsylvania

Yes, that does look beautiful.
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 7:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: A monk's tale
Replies: 7
Views: 630

Re: A monk's tale

This reads like something a monk would have scribbled in the margins in the wee small hours of Winter. I like it.

Cheers

David
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:27 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: At The Car Boot Sale In Fuengirola
Replies: 5
Views: 683

Re: At The Car Boot Sale In Fuengirola

I like it too, David, but if we're taking it in turns to reorganise the poem, I'd suggest this: There's a cripple singing: crowds part like a river around her wheelchair. Memories, misty water coloured memories. She wears a bush-hat and has a microphone taped to the side of her mouth. I've dropped "...
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:21 pm
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Les Murray
Replies: 14
Views: 1650

Re: Les Murray

You always have to study Les's poems carefully for Catholic content, but I think the need to properly grieve, to let it out is a good way of putting it too.
by David2
Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Bay of Thumbs, Isle of Mull (v3 edit)
Replies: 18
Views: 1166

Re: Bay of Thumbs, Isle of Mull (v3 edit)

ray miller wrote:Should buzzard sharp be hyphenated?
I think Ray's right about that. It occurred to me this time as well.

But I think the six-line verses are a better way of organising it. Still good.

Cheers

David
by David2
Wed Oct 02, 2013 6:12 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats to Magpie Jane/Snakeskin1
Replies: 9
Views: 753

Re: Congrats to Magpie Jane/Snakeskin1

Yes, well done. I'm reading and enjoying this month's edition at the moment.
by David2
Wed Oct 02, 2013 5:58 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Congrats to Ray Miller/Ink, Sweat and Tears1
Replies: 6
Views: 974

Re: Congrats to Ray Miller/Ink, Sweat and Tears1

Hurray indeed! I didn't think it sounded like our Ray - if I can call him that - until the end, when of course I saw that that was the point. Very cunningly set up.
by David2
Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:45 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: Jazz interlude..
Replies: 11
Views: 4049

Re: Jazz interlude..

There's something about this sort of thing that takes me straight back to the Kon Tiki bar at Butlins, Ayr in 1967. All bamboo and potted palm trees. I was 9, and could I get a decent daiquiri? I could not.
by David2
Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:32 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: More Ossian
Replies: 12
Views: 4547

Re: More Ossian

Michael Coleman is hard core.
by David2
Tue Oct 01, 2013 6:21 pm
Forum: Music and Song Lyric Discussion
Topic: More Ossian
Replies: 12
Views: 4547

Re: More Ossian

Lovely! Braw, in fact. We would say braew. Fine.

Haven't got to Michael Coleman yet.
by David2
Mon Sep 30, 2013 5:10 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Streetcake1
Replies: 9
Views: 990

Re: Streetcake1

Emsworth?!? I'm not seeing the connection at the moment, but how is the Empress? I should add..I have a "photographic" memory...as a recent recalling of a Sartre ref might suggest. Ha! :D http://www.poetsgraves.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=43&t=18446&p=150489&hilit=emsworth#p150489 I remember that c...
by David2
Sun Sep 29, 2013 12:01 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Piecework
Replies: 15
Views: 1299

Re: Piecework

ray miller wrote:David - well, the gist is, that the kid has the idea that the restrictions enforced at school are a consequence of his father's "peace work."
Well, I still don't quite see the connection to S2, but it doesn't detract from my enjoyment of the poem.
by David2
Sun Sep 29, 2013 10:13 am
Forum: Poetry Discussion
Topic: Les Murray
Replies: 14
Views: 1650

Re: Les Murray

Another (early) one from the ineffable Les: http://www.lesmurray.org/pm_aor.htm

I think it's enormously moving.
by David2
Sat Sep 28, 2013 6:49 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Streetcake1
Replies: 9
Views: 990

Re: Streetcake1

Emsworth?!? I'm not seeing the connection at the moment, but how is the Empress?
by David2
Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:32 pm
Forum: Ezines, Magazines and Publications
Topic: Streetcake1
Replies: 9
Views: 990

Re: Streetcake1

Yes, well done (again!), Seth.
by David2
Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries
Replies: 18
Views: 3684

Re: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries

I really want to be liking this, Elph - it's you, innit - but I'm not, that much, at the moment. I've not read any of Isaac's writing, but my impression is that he was wilder and stranger than you make him sound here - not sure he sounds 17th century enough, either - and I'm not convinced Steve Jobs...
by David2
Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:59 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries
Replies: 18
Views: 3684

Re: Extracts from Isaac and Steve’s Diaries

Is that actual Isaac, Elph? Or imagined?

David
by David2
Fri Sep 27, 2013 7:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Under the Cross
Replies: 7
Views: 802

Re: Under the Cross

Aha! A pun! And a man on a mission. Not sure what else it achieves, beyond ticking off the full 26.

Did It really have to be xylophone, though? Are there no better x-words?

I rather like

Yale’s prestige as king of the
zoo.


Cheers

David
by David2
Fri Sep 27, 2013 5:13 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Piecework
Replies: 15
Views: 1299

Re: Piecework

Yes, I like it too. The balance of power in the household is pretty vividly demonstrated, and it's a very likeable one. I'm probably being thick here, but I don't really see what S2 adds to the poem. I'd be sorry to lose it, though, and I suppose it certainly fixes it in a time and a place. I actual...
by David2
Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:53 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Collaboration (V3)
Replies: 24
Views: 1749

Re: Collaboration

I still think it's excellent, and I still prefer the original. (I spurn the revision.)

And I can't find anything I don't like until the penultimate stanza, where you lose me a bit, but I love the ending.

Great all round. I like it a lot.

Cheers

David