Search found 409 matches
- Fri Jul 29, 2016 11:17 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Maybe
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1182
Re: Maybe
Thanks for the tip Ian, been wondering how to mix it up a bit!
- Tue Jul 26, 2016 11:17 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Mermaid (revision)
- Replies: 18
- Views: 1797
Re: Mermaid
Hi Mac, I too liked this piece. Her lips became as dry as pebbles without their sea-salt kiss. My voice echoed a rust of song, that spray of gulls. I lifted her like a baptism into the waves. The shimmer of silver scales in moonlight breathed life, the frame of our goodbye. Along the shore the famil...
- Tue Jul 26, 2016 10:41 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Tic Toc
- Replies: 4
- Views: 573
Re: Tic Toc
Hi Trobbo, some truly nihilistic images here, such as Only flaccid hills of tone-free stomach muscle are married to fatty, diabetic kidneys, no longer needed in the grand scheme of his life. I think if you want to write in this vein, to be successful you have to introduce a bit of light , as well as...
- Sun Jul 24, 2016 3:02 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Haiku Train
- Replies: 7631
- Views: 1003949
Re: Haiku Train
There's not a bar in the grate.
Rain has issued its final demands-
wet leaves like letters.
Rain has issued its final demands-
wet leaves like letters.
- Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:08 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Maybe
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1182
Re: Maybe
Thanks for the replies, just having a bit of fun. Its probably me but i cant seem to vary the spaces at the start of each line, so when I set down the poem they are all lined up underneath each other, which is a bit boring sometimes.
- Fri Jul 22, 2016 11:00 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Returning
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1027
Re: Returning
Thanks jackie and katherine and Lou for your replies. The wall bit did seem to distract from the poem, but i was trying to set up its context, ah well, never mind. I think the lesson ive learned here is to be carefull in the details.
- Sat Jul 16, 2016 2:21 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
- Topic: Maybe
- Replies: 9
- Views: 1182
Maybe
we've got
to make
the
best
of
what
time
we've
got
left
and thats not by writing vertical poems.
to make
the
best
of
what
time
we've
got
left
and thats not by writing vertical poems.
- Sat Jul 16, 2016 12:31 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Returning
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1027
Re: returning
Thanks for the replies. It really wasn't about anything except bumping into a mole that had fallen from a wall which was level with park-ground, that was trying to get back underground I guess, and i was too scared to pick it up and let it carry on with its its life. Thanks Moth, for your response, ...
- Fri Jul 08, 2016 11:39 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Returning
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1027
Returning
Revision 1 Nose twitching downwards like a divining rod, a mole went this way and that besides the busy road, at rush hour. I couldn't pick it up and set it back on its way, instead I inserted my foot, blocking its path to try and guide it back from where it came. But it wouldn't have it. It didn't ...
- Sat Jul 02, 2016 1:07 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Freedom
- Replies: 15
- Views: 1741
Re: Freedom
Why not try haiku-ing it?
Freedom
Tall tomato plants
with warmth, sunlight and some water
press against the glass.
..#BOOSH!
cheers, Ton
Freedom
Tall tomato plants
with warmth, sunlight and some water
press against the glass.
..#BOOSH!
cheers, Ton
- Sat Jul 02, 2016 12:55 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Fruit Loops Drama - Revision II
- Replies: 15
- Views: 1608
Re: Fruit Loops Drama
Hi Luce, I liked this piece a lot. The details , i think make this poem , such as the vegetable tops tickling the legs. Just such a simple description somehow brings everything to life. The title seems a bit provisional, though.
- Sat Jul 02, 2016 12:19 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: This Shrouded Face (Revised)
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1135
Re: This Shrouded Face
To feel the sweat of a race not run and hold the clench of a stomach churned, as I crumble and fall, using artifice to fool this world of my consummate ease. This daily pulse with racing blood, like the sparrow evading the falcons dance. And I, with this shrouded face try so hard to solicit speech f...
- Sat Jun 25, 2016 2:07 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Summer Evening
- Replies: 17
- Views: 1632
Re: Summer Evening
captures a childhood moment, nice one!
- Sat Jun 25, 2016 1:29 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: The Pillar
- Replies: 13
- Views: 1407
Re: The Pillar
I actually really liked it. I get what you're trying to say, comparing the image of an egg timer/hourglass, and a stalagmite. Maybe you could expand a little on why you prefer the hourglass rather than the stalagmite, but both images compliment/push against each other in ways that you could expand u...
- Wed Jun 22, 2016 10:10 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A land called Elsewhere
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1273
Re: A land called Elsewhere
Cheers for the replies everyone. It was a poetry exercise, with the title being given as a starting point. It needs reworking/starting again, but I appreciate your comments, especially it being like a Carlsberg advert, which made me chuckle!
- Sun Jun 19, 2016 11:57 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: A land called Elsewhere
- Replies: 11
- Views: 1273
A land called Elsewhere
A remote control with fifty buttons of promises. A garden center that dreams of Eden. A ring road that doesn't stop and start. A heart that doesn't break but breaks even. Clothes that make you look ten years younger. A plumbing system that repairs itself. The all new self-weeding garden. All of the ...
- Sat Jun 18, 2016 2:29 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Hovering
- Replies: 10
- Views: 1344
Re: Hovering
The poem fulfilled the promise of its title. ie a poem about a bird of prey doing its thing, but to me its all a bit bog-standard, over explained, and wordy. I don't feel excited about it even though you're telling me i should be, if you get my drift. Have you read Ted Hughes The hawk in the Rain. N...
- Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:33 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Take me off the beaten track
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1437
Re: Take me off the beaten track
I think i just wanted the map-words to do the talking, the spaces of grass and green, and a bit of wind, where no one goes, but where were all left in the end.
- Fri Jun 10, 2016 11:20 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Take me off the beaten track
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1437
Re: Take me off the beaten track
Thanks Pauline for your input, and your poem isn't half bad by the way! Trobbo, and Boat, yes your comments confirm its not quite there yet! This is work in progress, just trying to work out what i want to say, and how to say it! Its more an exercise in how not to do a poem exercise if you get my dr...
- Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:27 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Hello Mary-Lou. Revision
- Replies: 18
- Views: 2450
Re: Hello Mary-Lou. Revision
Mary-Lou twiddled the nipple on her left diddy and tuned into the voices only she could hear. Her head resting into the cigarette held in her free hand. Oblivious to the smoulder and smell of sizzling mane she was delighted when Dermot came through. He talked dirty and she could forget about her blo...
- Tue May 31, 2016 5:20 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: silence
- Replies: 7
- Views: 909
Re: silence
Thanks for the replies, and glad you liked it Mac, and Firebird. Its not finished yet, so thanks for the constructive criticism, maybe the last two lines are a tad cliched. I liked what you did with it Pauline, ie you have tied it up a bit and made it neater.
- Sun May 29, 2016 11:28 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Prayer
- Replies: 13
- Views: 1582
Re: Prayer
I liked it but im like Greg Wallis from Masterchef- I want more of it !
- Sun May 29, 2016 10:48 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: silence
- Replies: 7
- Views: 909
silence
Maybe your eyes have it sometimes
when the words come out wrong-
a stone dropped in a well, that second or two
of lost meaning,
counting with our heartbeats.
when the words come out wrong-
a stone dropped in a well, that second or two
of lost meaning,
counting with our heartbeats.
- Sat May 14, 2016 11:20 pm
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Take me off the beaten track
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1437
Re: Just off the M62 Westbound
Thanks everyone for the replies, glad everyone sort of liked it. I think Ross hit the nail on the head with what I wanted to do, ie make a poem out of the place names, and let them take up the slack, almost without the author being present. I agree it needs something else though.
- Sat May 14, 2016 12:06 am
- Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
- Topic: Take me off the beaten track
- Replies: 12
- Views: 1437
Take me off the beaten track
to Hunger Hill. Meet me at Lench holes. Meet me at Cat Moss. I went to Grey Stone Height. I went to Mires Delph. At Joiner Stones Hill, and Whinney Nick and White Scar I was near Butterbowl. Near Schole Carr Moor was grey Stones Edge. Near Clay Clough was Blue Ball Delph. Meet me at Middle Scars. Me...