Search found 3099 matches

by JJWilliamson
Tue Apr 28, 2020 3:21 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Durdle Door (revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1457

Re: The Durdle Door

Thanks for the feedback, mac, and very interesting comments. Interesting JJ. Are you experimenting with your style? The foreground detail has your characteristic, almost photographic reality - the green/yellow vegetation. ...I'm experimenting with distance more than anything else, almost dropping th...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Apr 27, 2020 3:37 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Durdle Door (revised)
Replies: 11
Views: 1457

The Durdle Door (revised)

Oil on canvas 50 x 40 cms. The Durdle Door is to be found in Dorset, England. The colours and sheer beauty were enough to attract my attention. Just had to paint this lovely rock formation. See what you think. Revision Durdle Door 29 04 2020 003 700 pix.jpg The Durdle Door 27 04 2020 005 700 pix.jpg
by JJWilliamson
Tue Apr 21, 2020 8:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not to a Mouse [revision 3]
Replies: 12
Views: 756

Re: Not to a Mouse [revision 3]

Thank you once again, Not, for your continued efforts. Much appreciated. . Hi JJ. I think it reads a lot better with 'she' (but then I would say that wouldn't I?). ...Ah, but so do I. It also makes more sense. Still not convinced by the same things as before, so here's a couple of gentle provocation...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Apr 21, 2020 7:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 909

Re: Visitors

Thanks again, mac and Perry, for dropping in to comment. Appreciated. No, I wasn't in the least bit offended, Perry. The poem came to me as I was walking through some local woods near my house. It's about a mile's walk, past a number of farms, to get there. They are preceded by a narrow, hedge lined...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Apr 20, 2020 8:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 909

Re: Visitors

Thank you very much, Trevor, Perry and mac, for the great comments. Appreciated. Hi JJ, It worked fairly well for me. Most of the rhymes didn't feel too forced (the exceptions for me were leas and perceives, and maybe also campaign). The reference to the virus felt out of place and tacked on at the ...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Apr 20, 2020 7:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not to a Mouse [revision 3]
Replies: 12
Views: 756

Re: Not to a Mouse [revision 2]

Thanks, Not I must say, I'm delighted with your reply AND the suggestions offered. I have absolutely no aversion to a gender change (not personally, you understand) and I will almost certainly make the change. The link, incidentally, has made all the difference. . Hi JJ, like the changes to S1, exce...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Apr 19, 2020 8:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Not to a Mouse [revision 3]
Replies: 12
Views: 756

Re: Not to a Mouse [revision 2]

I thought I'd finished with this one, folks, but Not's "beastie" suggestion just kept niggling away.
I know from experience what that means and distance definitely helped me to see it through new eyes.
So, here's the second revision, where S1 has been revised for the better, I hope.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sun Apr 19, 2020 3:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Curious (revision2)
Replies: 27
Views: 1227

Re: Curious (revision)

Well, I have to say, mac, that the general premise was a delight to follow and I had no problem, at all, unearthing the connection to Gran. (at least I think so) It's a super little snapshot that reminded me of my own experiences with worms and "myths". I like how the poem reveals itself as it progr...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 2:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 909

Re: Visitors

No need to apologise, Tristan. Critique is the name of the game, and I thank you for getting back to me. I'm pleased the Covid link was apparent after all. I thought I'd completely missed the mark. Not for the first time. :)

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 12:45 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 909

Re: Visitors

Thank you very much, gents, for taking a look at this one for me. Appreciated. It's my little attempt at a Covid 19 poem, one I've been tinkering with for ages. That's the closing virus, Tristan. It all started when I was out on a woodland walk in early spring, about a mile away from my house. I not...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)
Replies: 22
Views: 909

Thoughts near Oaken Bank Woods [rev 1 + nudges] (was Visitors)

Sparrows are the first this year, a flock of overeager males, their aspirations very clear, oblivious now to winter’s gales. They argue in the shrubs and trees, fill the teasels by the lane, bicker on the banks and leas, preparing for their March campaign. A tuneful piping finds a mate, where bluebe...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:36 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Pinoakyo
Replies: 8
Views: 494

Re: Pinoakyo

I understand the concern expressed by the others but I love "wooden as a Tory wife" I will use that at our next family get-together. :)

Enjoyed but need a bit more, Not.

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Analgesia
Replies: 9
Views: 567

Re: Analgesia

I don't remember this one, Ray. Probably before my time but I like it very much. The rhythms and rhymes are good, as is the content. I didn't struggle with the content and you've already addressed my minor concerns, so least said. We reel them in with Ritalin, (Big Pharma pockets the profit) Prozac ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Adult Play
Replies: 8
Views: 359

Re: Adult Play

I think more stage direction might be the way but I also think it's fine as is, Trevor. I enjoyed recalling some distant memories, finding myself nodding the nod of recognition. As others have said, the stage curtain and the stuttered applause lines are superb. I have nothing to add but my applause....
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:08 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goodwill (Was: ‘What was lost’) V2
Replies: 11
Views: 453

Re: Goodwill (Was: ‘What was lost’) V2

Ha, ha! I really did mean to put a smiley after that line. I was just kidding. :)

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 9:06 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Ghost-Meat
Replies: 5
Views: 403

Re: Ghost-Meat

An eye-catcher of a poem, Tony, and one that held my attention all the way through. How VERY interesting. "Ghost meat" sounds bloody awful, but I suppose it's better than "shite meat". The others have made some sound points Ghost meat You scroll down the online menu of your favourite Curry House, On...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:55 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Goodwill (Was: ‘What was lost’) V2
Replies: 11
Views: 453

Re: Goodwill (Was: ‘What was lost’) V2

An interesting piece, Tristan, but the premise seems to get a bit lost, at least it does for me. It's as if you're trying to cram too much into a small space. This leaves me going back and forth as I try to establish the theme. The progression is ok but I had to work hard. That said, it's a genuinel...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 18, 2020 8:45 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Warmth
Replies: 8
Views: 514

Re: Warmth

I also like it, Perry. True, it's simplistic but I don't mind that one bit. Horses for courses, I suppose. Yip, I get the 4:3 rhythm, although I note you're not going for tight meter. No prob's. The only warmth in my life right now ...Good opening hook, and one that asks me to read on. comes from a ...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Apr 05, 2020 4:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: In Isolation (v6?)
Replies: 24
Views: 1126

Re: In Isolation (v2)

I'm also a big fan of this one, Not, mainly because of its layering and haikuesque qualities. I thought 'cells' was particularly inspiring. . v2 In Isolation I can hear my neighbours' ...Do you need 'can' ? breathing. How thin the walls are ...This 'are' could be moved around EG to the end of the po...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 04, 2020 8:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Brood Parasites (revision 3)
Replies: 12
Views: 1040

Re: Brood Parasites (revision 3)

Hi, Eira Tight iambic pentameter all the way through with some super rhymes. I enjoyed the form and theme very much but tend to agree about the predictability of events. I was expecting something new to emerge, like an influencing revelation or comparison to humanity, you know, something unexpected ...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 04, 2020 8:01 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Brief Word for Rooms
Replies: 13
Views: 637

Re: A Brief Word for Rooms

I thoroughly enjoyed this clever poem, Trevor, finding myself smiling all the way through. Hope that's appropriate. A Brief Word for Rooms Hallway Welcome! Step inside. Visitors, please wipe your feet. My carpet, there’s talk of tearing it up ..."There's talk of tearing my carpet up" perhaps. and po...
by JJWilliamson
Sat Apr 04, 2020 7:05 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Joyful Builder, Searching Student
Replies: 5
Views: 603

Re: Joyful Builder, Searching Student

Not getting it, either, Jules, although I was able to apply my own take, which is never a bad thing. (or is it?) :) We've made a big mess of just about everything and fail to respond to our own stupidity and we are the true masters/captains of our own shit. The pile is high and we keep adding to it....
by JJWilliamson
Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Mrs Shakespeare Plots (revision3)
Replies: 29
Views: 2253

Re: Mrs Shakespeare Plots

I must admit it took me a couple of reads before the plot unfolded for me. The title change helped enormously and there is a Shakespearean feel to this. It's always difficult to write in the style of a particular period yet still maintain that modern flavour. You seem to have overcome that problem w...
by JJWilliamson
Sun Mar 01, 2020 2:17 pm
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Bosley Cloud, Cheshire (revised)
Replies: 7
Views: 1566

Re: The Bosley Cloud, Cheshire (revised)

Thanks for getting back to me, Not, with your thoughts and assessments. Appreciated. . Hi JJ I like the 'horizon hills' and the sky in the revision (the 'greyer' clouds) and what I'm assuming is the effect of the 'blue glaze' (the blurring of the 'field's end and horizon hills beginning'). Overall t...
by JJWilliamson
Tue Feb 25, 2020 8:48 am
Forum: Post Visual Art
Topic: The Bosley Cloud, Cheshire (revised)
Replies: 7
Views: 1566

Re: The Bosley Cloud, Cheshire

Thanks again, Not, for looking in again. Appreciated. I've taken a few approaches with the revision, bearing your (and mac's) comments in mind. I firstly softened the horizon hills, then added a blue glaze to the background plain to push it back further and to enhance the foreground rock formation. ...