Search found 3099 matches

by JJWilliamson
Thu Feb 26, 2015 1:29 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Hi Henry, pleased to meet you Delighted you enjoyed this piece and took the time to tell me. yes, I've written several sonnets over the years and this piece does emulate the octave and sestet of the Petrarchan Sonnet. Firstly there exists a problem then S2 provides a potential solution. There is an ...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Feb 26, 2015 12:09 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lager (Parody)
Replies: 8
Views: 1268

Re: Lager (Parody)

Hi Dante, pleased to meet you I appreciate the 'neatly done' and your observations very much. Yes, the structure is important but so is the content. I'm presenting a parody of William Blake's Tyger poem (see below) with my irreverent tribute to lager. I've followed the original structure quite close...
by JJWilliamson
Thu Feb 26, 2015 11:53 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Snow in Alaska
Replies: 15
Views: 1342

Re: Snow in Alaska

Hello, Ton, good to meet you I concur with the previous commentators. I like the sounds attributed to the lake as it freezes and moves. It shows, quite clearly, that it's constantly shifting like a glacier. I enjoyed the descriptions and similes and love the sense of place you develop with your obse...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 8:16 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Lager (Parody)
Replies: 8
Views: 1268

Lager (Parody)

Lager, lager, flowing bright from my glass throughout the night, no elixir could compare or claim to be The King of Beers. In what far-flung places do you treat the world to sparkling brew? In what bars might acquire cooling ale to douse my fire? And what pleasure, and what art could rouse my spleen...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 7:54 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Not mawkish at all, Chris. I felt a bit sorry when the tree came down; my poem hopefully reflects that fact. My not so wild honeysuckle expired last year so I know what you mean, I really do. Thanks for getting back to me.

Best

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 4:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Celtic Tales (rev1)
Replies: 8
Views: 847

Re: Celtic Tales (rev1)

Hi Mac Very interesting poem you have here. It sent me searching for my thinking cap as I contemplated the Celtic connections. I have very strong Celtic connections on my father's side (Scottish) and was consequently drawn to the title. I like the title. revision This night's a moist purring beneath...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 2:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Post-a-Poem (Beginners) Rules. You must read before posting.
Replies: 10
Views: 24975

Re: Post-a-Poem (Beginners) Rules. You must read before post

Thanks for that, Ros. Appreciate the prompt reply.
Ros wrote:That'll be fine. The rule is just to remind people that we aim to workshop contemporary poetry rather than work attempting to revive the old masters.

Ros
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 12:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Hi, Chris Thanks very much for dropping in to read and comment, it's appreciated. Yes, the golf must go on regardless. :) I think the tree felling would fall under the general umbrella of 'good husbandry'. The felling of trees bothers me a bit, even knowing that I prune and top my own shrubs and tre...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 12:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Hello K-J, nice to meet you Thanks for the very helpful crit' it's appreciated. It looks like 'lumes' is destined for the sin bin; every commentator has raised the same issue so It probably is something of a stretch. I've also noticed that most, if not all, of the popular dictionaries fail to recogn...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:54 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Thanks Firebird for a thoughtful visit. I'm thinking of changing 'lumes' but keeping 'denes' mainly because many of the popular dictionaries don't recognize lumes. So I have some work to do. The word 'chip' sits quite well with me but 'pitch' would serve just as well. It's a different kind of shot, ...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Post-a-Poem (Beginners) Rules. You must read before posting.
Replies: 10
Views: 24975

Re: Post-a-Poem (Beginners) Rules. You must read before post

I see you discourage Keats and Shakespeare impersonations. I was wondering if you are ok with a Keats referenced poem. I have written a poem entitled, 'Picnicking With John Keats' which does emulate the style but doesn't copy it and has a significant twist in the close.

Best,

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 10:02 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: E.S.T
Replies: 6
Views: 753

Re: E.S.T

Hi Jono I enjoyed reading and thinking about this poem and, like Nash, I too was convinced this was a song lyric. (not a bad thing btw) I counted four stresses per line but the beat faltered at strophe 3 Line 1. The poem isn't strictly iambic and I don't think it needs to be as the rhythms are easy ...
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:11 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Happy to be here...
Replies: 7
Views: 3741

Re: Happy to be here...

Hello again, jono

I can't really welcome you here because you arrived on an earlier bus. :)

Good to see a fellow newbie posting around the forums.

Best,

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Wed Feb 25, 2015 9:04 am
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello
Replies: 7
Views: 3043

Re: Hello

Thanks Antcliff and Bodkin for the welcome.

Appreciated,

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Tue Feb 24, 2015 12:00 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Thanks for the welcome, Nash, and thanks for the crit' it's very much appreciated. Hello, JJ and welcome to the forum. You've obviously got a good handle on the metre, very deftly done. Thanks, Nash. I must admit that I enjoy metered verse more and more as the years roll by. Actually I enjoy a wide ...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 11:11 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

Re: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens

Hi David Yes, it's my first offering at PG. Hey, thanks for the 'very nice' and the astute observations they are appreciated. Hey JJ - your first offering, I think. Very nice. The title led me to expect - what? I'm not sure - perhaps something about vegetables, or perhaps some sort of shop. You migh...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:43 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello
Replies: 7
Views: 3043

Re: Hello

Thank you everyone for the very kind welcome. I forgot to say that I enjoy metered, form and free verse, tending to drift towards modern romanticism, but not always.

Hi, jono, just one day eh :)

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 10:30 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Among the mummies
Replies: 25
Views: 2131

Re: Among the mummies

Hi David I enjoyed this poem and smiled at the close. It would seem the years have failed to calm childish petulance. Yip, I liked that close. S1 'expressionlessness' is something of a tongue twister, it took me about five minutes before I could get near it and yet I suspect this was a deliberate wo...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:35 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello
Replies: 7
Views: 3043

Hello

Hello all

I'm new to PG and am delighted to find this forum. I've read a number of poems & critiques here and have thoroughly enjoyed
the constructive replies offered by the members. I look forward to reading and posting more.

Best,

JJ
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 5:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)
Replies: 24
Views: 2407

A Miracle by Kendal's Greens (revision 2)

I watched the felling of a beech in Kendal by the fourteenth green. Her twigs and leaves would never reach for morning dew again. A dene supplied cerebral roots, and skies of healing grey sent mist and rain to rouse her buds. The clouds were wise, for from the fields of old Cockayne a vapour dressed...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Dancing in Patagonia -- Revised (CTG)
Replies: 11
Views: 1104

Re: Dancing in Patagonia (CTG)

Hi Chris I enjoyed this poem very much, in fact it's right up my street, so to speak. I have one or two thoughts for your perusal. Please take or toss as you see fit. Dancing in Patagonia We are dancing in Patagonia to the fiddle's................... Do you need 'in Patagonia' it's already implied i...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 4:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The children turn in their sleep (1984)
Replies: 7
Views: 888

Re: The children turn in their sleep (1984)

Hi Mic I liked the imagery and brevity of this poem and particularly enjoyed the metaphor and ambiguity. I see an end to some sort of relationship with a new beginning on the horizon. I love the snow fall of the cherry tree blossom as the shadows deepen near the ground. I can visualise the fading bl...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Burn
Replies: 5
Views: 890

Re: The Burn

Hi Dave You have an interesting poem here. I have a few thoughts for your perusal: Closer we move to each other the opening line acts as a reasonable hook. It's a tad clichéd and perhaps the use of imagery would raise it a notch or two. Our breath hot Definitely clichéd. I'd try to think of a differ...
by JJWilliamson
Mon Feb 23, 2015 3:00 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Four Memories
Replies: 12
Views: 1429

Re: Four Memories

Hi Firebird, I enjoyed reading this poem, especially S1. The wonderful contrast of the Highland castle and Texan desert really grabs the reader's attention, I smiled with anticipation at this point wondering what was to come. Instead of 'she' could you use a first/pet name to personalise the asserti...