Search found 191 matches

by capricorn
Tue Nov 13, 2018 10:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Calm (wasSounds of the Sea - was Seaside Commotion)
Replies: 29
Views: 4014

Re: Seaside Commotion

Hi Eira, An enjoyable vignette, which the title frames perfectly. I can imagine the gulls intimidating the child to drop the candy and the child's attention span and mood swing. The puppy's actions set the direction of this playful poem. Nice to see the gulls get their comeuppance. All that screech...
by capricorn
Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:58 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Calm (wasSounds of the Sea - was Seaside Commotion)
Replies: 29
Views: 4014

Re: Seaside Commotion

I think the title is a bit too generic. 3rd line very nice. Feet stomp rhythmically; - somrthink like angrily might be better. he hurls the treat down. - my experience is that toddlers hang on to such things for dear life, hygiene be damned. anticipating a chocolate ice. Screeching - seems a relati...
by capricorn
Tue Nov 13, 2018 9:38 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Calm (wasSounds of the Sea - was Seaside Commotion)
Replies: 29
Views: 4014

Re: Seaside Commotion

Hi Not, Thank you for your thoughts on this, you have given my much to think on. I like your suggestion for a title and might use it - I've had trouble deciding on that. I began first began with 'piercing shrieks', but someone thought I needed something fresher hence 'keow keow' I see what you mean ...
by capricorn
Mon Nov 12, 2018 12:15 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Calm (wasSounds of the Sea - was Seaside Commotion)
Replies: 29
Views: 4014

Calm (wasSounds of the Sea - was Seaside Commotion)

Calm Keow keow , gulls flurry to scrounge tidbits from tide-rinsed sand. One snaps cotton candy from sticky fingers. Toddler screams merge with avian chuckles. Feet stomp furiously; he hurls the treat down. Birds dive on their prize - cries intensify. Playful barks scatter the flock; a puppy charges...
by capricorn
Sun Nov 11, 2018 11:20 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: With thanks to the workers of the Woodland Trust
Replies: 9
Views: 1303

Re: With thanks to the workers of the Woodland Trust

Hi Luke, An enjoyable read. I couldn't really find much to 'nit-pick' so I wondered what this would look like in couplets. It took them a morning to dig the holes, set the posts, lay the boards across the stream. By afternoon there was a bridge in Haddon Fields where before we had to scan ahead for ...
by capricorn
Sun Nov 11, 2018 10:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cares Of The Heart
Replies: 30
Views: 3485

Re: Cares Of The Heart

Thanks for the welcome Ross. This is the most active graveyard I've come across :lol: You might know me as Rhapsody of Rhyme from elsewhere. I do completely understand what you mean by those 2 lines and I like the idea. I love watching/listening to birds in our garden. I think you just need to make ...
by capricorn
Sun Nov 11, 2018 8:02 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Origami Dawn
Replies: 3
Views: 725

Re: Origami Dawn

Hi Lotus, I'm new here and after reading a few of your poems find your style to be very original - fascinating. Like Ross, I find no connection with the title, but perhaps I'm not looking deep enough. I think this needs a few reads to understand completely - or perhaps take up Ross's suggestion to f...
by capricorn
Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:42 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Unwed Mother (new new title)
Replies: 23
Views: 2407

Re: She smiled, and kept on walking

Hi NQS,

I like your way of thinking here.

I did wonder if them as travel was a dialect thing - if not those that travel sounds more grammatically correct.


However I like this poem.


Eira
by capricorn
Sun Nov 11, 2018 7:25 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Cares Of The Heart
Replies: 30
Views: 3485

Re: Cares Of The Heart

Hi Ross, I've just read NQS's reply and agree with most that was said, especially Birds, their hard eyes watch, and watching, sing grand in talk, grand in music. I know some have said these ar their favourite lines, but I can't quite make sense of them. Sorry! I do like the poem very much and it is ...
by capricorn
Sat Nov 10, 2018 12:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Spots
Replies: 14
Views: 1868

Re: Spots

Hi Ray, This is a very compelling read, a well written story. I have to look very closely to 'nit-pick', but as this is my first critique I feel I have to find something to say. :wink: St 1: I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'fat & faces that stared at his skin' It's 'fat' that I'm puzzling over. ...
by capricorn
Fri Nov 09, 2018 10:59 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Re: Hello from Birmingham

Ray - I love Malvern. Happy memories walking over the hills.

Eira
by capricorn
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:50 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Re: Hello from Birmingham

Alex wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 6:28 pm
Welcome, Eira.

My best wishes,
Alex
Thank you Alex, for the warm welcome.

Eira
by capricorn
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:49 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Re: Hello from Birmingham

ray miller wrote:
Thu Nov 08, 2018 11:44 am
Hello Eira. I grew up in Brum. What part do you live in?
Hello Ray, I live on the outskirts of Kingstanding. Where do you come from? A small world!

Eira
by capricorn
Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:45 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Re: Hello from Birmingham

Hello JJ,

I'm sure you know me better as Rhapsody of Rhyme (not so much rhyme these days!) You were one of the poets I recognised which drew me in to join PG.

Eira
by capricorn
Wed Nov 07, 2018 10:42 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Re: Hello from Birmingham

Hello Mac,
so you were born in South Wales too. It's a small world! Where exactly were you born? I was born in Neath but lived in a little mining village called Seven Sisters.

Eira
by capricorn
Wed Nov 07, 2018 7:00 pm
Forum: Hello, Good Evening and Welcome
Topic: Hello from Birmingham
Replies: 12
Views: 3953

Hello from Birmingham

Hello everyone, I live in Birmingham UK, although I was born in South Wales. I began writing poetry in 2002 when I had 'empty nest syndrome'. I found it therapeutic and later quite addictive. I don't write as much now but still have the writing 'bug' and have made friends all over the world. I post ...