Search found 221 matches

by Poet
Sat Jan 18, 2020 4:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: .
Replies: 13
Views: 914

Re: Frosty (tentative)

Whose fields these are I think I know. He rides a John Deere tractor, though He never waves, his eyes he hides When spotting me drive to and fro. Each weekend’s call, I’m with his wife When Clem’s out with the drum and fife; She says he’s keen to beat the skins To ease the ache of sweat and strife....
by Poet
Fri Jan 17, 2020 3:20 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Gather Around Writers & Novelists
Replies: 8
Views: 822

Gather Around Writers & Novelists

1.Poets, novelists, gather round, we will talk about all things literary Here we will begin speaking about the world and where poetry and novels stand for, exchange your manuscripts and open up about your feelings about how you feel about your pieces, smell the fresh aroma of coffee, tea, and pieces...
by Poet
Fri Jan 17, 2020 2:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Superman (final)
Replies: 9
Views: 1029

Re: Superman

Heavy stuff, interesting work though, the last line was funny. Keep it up.
by Poet
Thu Jan 16, 2020 12:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Butterfly Approach
Replies: 3
Views: 350

Re: The Butterfly Approach

I made those changes like you said Jules. Here you go.
by Poet
Thu Jan 16, 2020 12:43 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Butterfly Approach
Replies: 3
Views: 350

Re: The Butterfly Approach

Thanks Jules I appreciate your comments about my poem.
by Poet
Wed Jan 15, 2020 5:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Mistaken Identity (rev 1)
Replies: 11
Views: 918

Re: Mistaken Identity

First of all I have to say what a beautiful poem it is, I feel like you could have upped the emotion a little more, I like the last stanza, though it felt a little chilly and what I mean by that it is brutal and that is the way I like it. Poetry is about the harshness of the words, use it at your di...
by Poet
Wed Jan 15, 2020 4:48 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Butterfly Approach
Replies: 3
Views: 350

The Butterfly Approach

1.Eat those butterflies you have from your hand, Make sure you keep eating those butterflies. 2.Make a list of all the butterflies you want to kill, Make sure you keep eating those butterflies. 3.Think about all those times you fell in love with them smell them, harass them, flail those broken hands...
by Poet
Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: We are all human
Replies: 5
Views: 813

Re: We are all human

We Are all human Bodies of water Dreams of gold We Are all human Minds like fire Hearts get sold We Are all human Breathing in air Crispy and cold We Are all human Spirits of earth All grow old *So, I'm new here and English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if I make any spelling mistakes along ...
by Poet
Tue Jan 14, 2020 6:35 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Naked Analysis
Replies: 3
Views: 456

Re: Naked Analysis

MartinT wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 10:59 am
Naked Analysis

Two sessions then a break
No cuddling just proximity
No need for a couch
Eyes not facing
Just lying besides (I think you mean beside instead of besides, make those changes)
Overall I thought the poem was witty and full of meaning, good job! Good luck with your writing.
by Poet
Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:57 am
Forum: Post-a-Translation
Topic: entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz
Replies: 3
Views: 5586

Re: entrenchment clauses by ramonlvdiaz

This was so complex and I had almost no idea what you were trying to say in this poem. I like the abundance of words though. It was quite interesting really.
by Poet
Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:46 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Green Friday
Replies: 15
Views: 1133

Re: Green Friday

ray miller wrote:
Mon Jan 13, 2020 9:24 am
Thanks, poet. I don't know how many times it's been revised, but it's not finished, they rarely are.
Well keep writing and good luck with your poetry.
by Poet
Tue Jan 14, 2020 1:38 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Milk Thief
Replies: 5
Views: 447

Re: The Milk Thief

Hi Poet, I like it. It might be one of your best. It has a feeling of danger both for the narrator and the reader. You could try tidying up the syntax but I think the uncomfortable, unconventional wording is part of what gives it an edge. So, for example that first line - I sneak to go and drink mi...
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:34 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Milk Thief
Replies: 5
Views: 447

Re: The Milk Thief

Hi Poet, there are ideas here that interest me. For me the poem is a first draft, needs to be edited, reworked to focus on what works. For example, the first lines sound clumsy to my ear. ''I sneak to go and drink milk, In the middle of the night.'' I'd cut ''go'' it isn't needed, and add a detail,...
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:31 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Green Friday
Replies: 15
Views: 1133

Re: Green Friday

Fascinating! I like this piece, very moving and has a point to it. How many times have you revised this poem? Once? Twice? Three times?
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 7:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: the epitaph
Replies: 9
Views: 823

Re: the epitaph

What does the last lines have anything to do with the rest of the poem? You may need to remove that and add something else with it.
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 6:27 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Flamboyant
Replies: 14
Views: 1830

Re: Flamboyant

For all, Cutlass Tree flaunts, befriending— Let alone a perfect stranger. Her throbbing, limber limbs extending For all, Cutlass Tree flaunts, befriending. She rules the gate and, her red ascending, Claims all gates within our range here. For all, Cutlass Tree flaunts, befriending, Yet lets alone m...
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Smoke
Replies: 7
Views: 942

Re: Smoke

I like it, really interesting, I like the imagery in here, I wouldn't change a thing.
by Poet
Mon Jan 13, 2020 1:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

Poet, Sid is right, do more research in Trump, or into military interventions. I'd go with Trump, focus on him, research, research and write down what excites you, moves you. I still think the title is a good starting point, but the poem still isn't working (I noticed you posted a revised poem but ...
by Poet
Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Pump Up the Jam
Replies: 2
Views: 303

Re: No title

She turned her face in silence “I would never be so godless As to mistake freckles for blemishes Before the stars that placed them,” I said “It’s not that,” she said “Is this about Jock Jams?“ “You told me you were making me a mixtape!” Lol I get it but it's way too vague for me, might need to edit...
by Poet
Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:21 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Milk Thief
Replies: 5
Views: 447

Re: The Milk Thief

I will make those edits, thanks for critiquing my poem tatter!
by Poet
Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Milk Thief
Replies: 5
Views: 447

The Milk Thief

I sneak to go and drink milk in the middle of the night. Do you think that is ok? I sneak to go and drink milk I am known as the milk thief Is that even ok? The mirror which reflects my soul wants to take all the milk is that ok? Do you wander the halls of all the milk thieves and wonder whether or ...
by Poet
Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

Um what? Lol are you being funny? Apparently not! lol. I was quoting Morrissey, the Smith's song "Stop me if you think you've heard this one before" Not of much use, then again neither is Morrissey these days. Cheers Camus I looked up Morrissey recently and he is from a band, never heard of him til...
by Poet
Fri Jan 10, 2020 7:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Permacultural
Replies: 5
Views: 606

Re: Permacultural

bjondon wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:10 pm
Our permacultural patch is filling up with
God-Knows-What
quite a bit of Probably-Dead
no small amount of What-the-Hell-is-That
its saving grace a bed of How-Did-That-Get-There
We prune and snarl with glee
uncertify the season
dig the you
of me
What is this poem about?
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:40 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real (A Rewrite)
Replies: 0
Views: 743

This Can't Be Real (A Rewrite)

Donald Trump my fears is whether you will start world war 3 or even worse another bombing on Iranian generals and corporals, or being impeached, or writing really dumb tweets on twitter, don’t you think you have gone too far? Your presidency has gone too far, you should be out of office soon! The hi...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:23 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Safe Sex
Replies: 9
Views: 707

Re: Courtship

Bites?