Search found 221 matches

by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:17 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: Aubergine (revision)
Replies: 10
Views: 804

Re: Aubergine (revision)

Revision O aubergine, with your black latex dress slightly wet to the touch stickiness; your pale flesh, that needs to be salted to draw the moisture out- I admit I have sliced you up into rounds and fried you until you were golden on both sides, or put you under the grill and turned you around unt...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:10 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: The Mudmen
Replies: 8
Views: 727

Re: The Mudmen

We trudge through sludge and crud, shat that's crapped and crusted- dun-dung mud! Morning brings moaning, groaning, gurning- the earth is our earning. We are wading, walking, swimming. No talking. Slipping, sliding sinking, blinking, balking. Earth has worth, is Frankinscence, myrrh and gold, that ...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 8:06 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: I don't believe in poets (Revised v2)
Replies: 18
Views: 1004

Re: I don't believe in poets (Revised)

Revised version 1 I don’t believe in poets who go on television and play the part of the celebrity, with a book to promote, whose face appears in magazines, whose voice narrates the cartoon cat trying to sell me car insurance; the poet who drinks a bottle of whisky for breakfast and fucks about and...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

Hi, I really like your title. Good starting point, but what follows isn't manic enough for me. There's a hint of panic in the title, I'd like to see that in the poem. I'd suggest a rewrite, and exaggerate everything, shamelessly. Really have fun with this. I still need to know what I am writing tho...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:32 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

camus wrote:
Thu Jan 09, 2020 3:36 am
Beejessus I thought for a moment I'd posted this in a drunken pseudo momentary lapse of reason. But i didn't, you did, who ever you are?

Stop me if you think you've heard this one before...

I've stopped.

Cheers
Um what? Lol are you being funny?
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:30 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

Hi, I really like your title. Good starting point, but what follows isn't manic enough for me. There's a hint of panic in the title, I'd like to see that in the poem. I'd suggest a rewrite, and exaggerate everything, shamelessly. Really have fun with this. I still need to know what I am writing tho...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:28 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

but it is, in a form of poem Well, yes, but any form of any amount of alphabetical letters in any sequence can be seen as "poetry" Please explain the "Poetry" in this piece? I'm not the best crit here, in fact i'm probably the worst, so i do appreciate you answering, but you know, answer well! Chee...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 7:26 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

Hi, I really like your title. Good starting point, but what follows isn't manic enough for me. There's a hint of panic in the title, I'd like to see that in the poem. I'd suggest a rewrite, and exaggerate everything, shamelessly. Really have fun with this. I still need to know what I am writing tho...
by Poet
Thu Jan 09, 2020 5:17 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

Re: This Can't Be Real

What a load of old shit. This was once a poetry forum, for poetry. Up your game sir, read some poets, digest, regurgitate, ensconce. This is crayon poetry. It doesn't belong here in any colour. Cheers I know it seems like a rant but it is, in a form of poem. But thanks for giving out your opinion, ...
by Poet
Wed Jan 08, 2020 6:50 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Experienced)
Topic: This Can't Be Real
Replies: 13
Views: 766

This Can't Be Real

Fuck the USA, America what have you done You have brought shame to your land! Your president has gone crazy, what is he doing? He is going to start WW3 if he continues this killing rampage on Iran, he will be punished soon What is going on here? America wake up, get this man out of office, and for o...
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 4:52 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: If Poetry Could Hold Water : The Landlockeds of Europe
Replies: 12
Views: 943

Re: Plumbing Without Tears ~ Landlocked Eurasia

Funny piece, this reminds me of some nonsensical poetry I've read before from Spike Milligan.
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 4:03 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Shelley in Sainsbury's - Manchester 2019 (V3)
Replies: 10
Views: 1545

Re: Shelley in Sainsbury's - Manchester 2019 (V3)

bjondon wrote:
Mon Dec 30, 2019 6:34 pm
Hi Poet, it was supposed to be a sort of state of the nation thing, England in 2019, an echo of Shelley's poem 'England in 1819'.
Yes, I agree, it's a convoluted mess!
Jules
Yeah well at least that needed to be said.
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:58 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Purple People
Replies: 4
Views: 492

Re: Purple People

Is this supposed to be some sort of fantasy poetry? It reads that way.
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:56 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

I've made a slight revision on the poem based on the critiques of sleepystupid I’ve been through this life before, been banging heads to the wall, been singing my heart out to the gods in the sky, I’m wondering to myself how the fuck am I so stupid? I wander through life as a poster boy being alive ...
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:49 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

hi Poet, forgive my ignorance as i am new here, but i have some thoughts/questions that may help. i'm struggling to see past the angst in this poem, though perhaps there is something deeper that i'm missing. the admission of uncertainty in the last lines of S2, about the world and presumably the re...
by Poet
Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:41 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

This is a curious one Poet, and I am beginning to like it - the cadence, the internal rhymes, the whole cussed bad-tempered attitude of it. At first it did just feel like a fast written diary entry, emotion all over the place but very little for the reader to hang on to - in fact it feels like it's...
by Poet
Fri Dec 27, 2019 5:46 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

MilesTugeau wrote:
Fri Dec 27, 2019 7:40 am
Hi Poet,

Gloomy? Maybe not, after all it's 2019 and depression is the new jubilation. :lol:


Best, Miles
Haha ok I see what you mean, why would depression be the new jubilation?
by Poet
Fri Dec 27, 2019 4:21 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

Hi Poet, Might be others are loathe to comment because, as L1 suggests, you've had multiple heads and they're not sure of which one they'd be addressing. :) On another level, imagine a book filled with gloomy poems--there's enough misery glutting the airwaves and newsprint daily, to satisfy most fo...
by Poet
Tue Dec 24, 2019 8:39 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

Re: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

Comments please!
by Poet
Tue Dec 24, 2019 7:24 pm
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Surrender Act
Replies: 15
Views: 1369

Re: The Surrender Act

NotQuiteSure wrote:
Tue Dec 24, 2019 4:10 pm
Poet wrote:
Sun Dec 22, 2019 6:40 am
I don't get it.
That's ok, Poet, there may not be much here to get. :)
I'll let this one keep sleeping.

Regards, Not

.
Sure thing. And happy writing.
by Poet
Tue Dec 24, 2019 7:39 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: An Aging Rhyme
Replies: 5
Views: 650

Re: An Aging Rhyme

V1 Father Time within life’s fabric Intertwined, always present to birth the divine. Lifts us up into our Prime, there with us whilst we climb. Reaching the apex of our pantomime, he turns away as we trek the decline, closes his eyes and weaves his twine, squeezes our breath one final time. He mark...
by Poet
Tue Dec 24, 2019 7:33 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Fascination - was prev Negotiating Political Discourse
Replies: 3
Views: 362

Re: Negotiating Political Discourse

I thought this poem was rather dry, it had a lack of imagery and it was really narrative at times, I like the cadence which is what was going for it, but other than that, that was it. Thanks for sharing though.
by Poet
Sun Dec 22, 2019 6:40 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: The Surrender Act
Replies: 15
Views: 1369

Re: The Surrender Act

NotQuiteSure wrote:
Fri Oct 04, 2019 10:10 am
.
The Surrender Act

and in return for all that
they willingly formed lines
waited with lowing patience
surrendered their sovereign minds



.
You are missing punctuation my friend, what do you mean by sovereign minds and the whole poem is lacking substance I don't get it.
by Poet
Sun Dec 22, 2019 5:29 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: Shelley in Sainsbury's - Manchester 2019 (V3)
Replies: 10
Views: 1545

Re: Shelley in Sainsbury's - Manchester 2019 (V3)

This poem is quite a convoluted mess what is this about? All I got from it was sorrow and women.
by Poet
Sun Dec 22, 2019 5:10 am
Forum: Post-a-Poem (Beginners)
Topic: You've Heard This One Before Haven't You
Replies: 15
Views: 1110

You've Heard This One Before Haven't You

I’ve been through this life before, been banging heads to the wall, been singing my heart out to the gods in the sky, been wondering to myself how the fuck am I so stupid? I wander through life as a poster boy being alive in the day time but slowly dying in the pitch black night, I’ve been telling m...