Perhaps

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k-j
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Perhaps

Post by k-j » Mon Mar 13, 2017 2:10 am

Had I decided
that love mattered more than a lie did
before we grew ardent?
Perhaps I had, perhaps I hadn’t.

Is her hair,
half-hiding, half-revealing, neck and ear,
the reason I'm bedizened?
Perhaps it is, perhaps it isn't.

Does it render me nonplussed
that by her calves, her waist, her bust
I'm insensibly cozened?
Perhaps it does, perhaps it doesn't.

Can I exist
and ignore her subtle wrist,
her strong, fine-fingered hand?
Perhaps I can, perhaps I can’t.

Have I gained unawareness
of everything but her fairness, bareness, thereness,
like an idiot savant?
Perhaps I have, perhaps I haven’t.

Are we in love?
Or are we a figment of
an imagination unbalanced and overwrought?
Perhaps we are, perhaps we’re not.
fine words butter no parsnips

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lotus
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Re: Perhaps

Post by lotus » Tue Apr 03, 2018 6:05 am

dear k-j


like an idiot savant?


this line takes me to the beyond
in a way that holds this list poem from being lost


silent lotus
“A poem should have the touch ... the way sunlight falls on Braille.” .......silent lotus

Macavity
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Re: Perhaps

Post by Macavity » Wed Apr 04, 2018 5:54 pm

hi k-j

Always a pleasure to read your writing - that ease with rhyme, elegance of expression, and, of course, a word or two for me to check out. I've been re-reading Jane Austen novels recently and sense and sensibility came to me.

enjoyed

mac

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Jackie
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Re: Perhaps

Post by Jackie » Wed Apr 04, 2018 6:50 pm

Hi k-j

I enjoyed this very much.

With word choice and using the 3rd person, you have kind of a push and pull of sensuousness/intimacy and propriety in the poem, which you have probably balanced just as you wish it. I keep wondering who the audience might be—the author himself? The refrain sounds more like he is defending himself against a close friend's accusations. We're ardent, so leave it alone.

Jackie

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camus
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Re: Perhaps

Post by camus » Fri Apr 06, 2018 5:30 pm

Good to read you again, KJ.
I keep wondering who the audience might be—the author himself?
Good question.

I'd say the audience is mainly "Her" otherwise stanzas 2,3 and 4 would be obsolete?

It's a tentative love poem? Wrapped up with a question that applies to all tentative lovers the world over:

"Or are we a figment of
an imagination unbalanced and overwrought?"

BIG question!

Good stuff indeed.
http://www.closetpoet.co.uk

ton321
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Re: Perhaps

Post by ton321 » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:54 am

Hi k-j,
Enjoyed, but is there a particular reason you use the words "bedizened" and "cozened" which seem a bit antiquated?
Tony
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves

David
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Re: Perhaps

Post by David » Sat Apr 07, 2018 1:45 pm

Another old one, unaccountably resurrected. It is a good one, though, and - as M. Camus says - it's good to read k-j again.

k-j
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Re: Perhaps

Post by k-j » Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:49 pm

Thanks all, strange that this was resurrected after a year.

Tony, those words obviously chosen for the rhyme, but I don't think they're antiquated, just uncommon.

As for the audience, I guess it's the "us" of the poem... or just the speaker talking to him/herself?
fine words butter no parsnips

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