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Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 7:33 pm
by Jackie
These are the games I forfeit.
I extend a real word to the east
(though less mighty than I’d like)
and watch for your move
as we build our gallery.
But you slap scat alongside me
first top and then bottom.
On my branch reaching west
you plop the unpronounceable.
Round the board you pursue me:
where meaning appears, you abort it;
where structural growth starts
you thwart it.
I forfeit.

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:02 am
by Macavity
Interesting Jackie. Like the sounds, the sense of strategy, and the interaction. The poem draws the reader into games of ambition, limitation, submission. I like the repetition of forfeit, no matter the compass point, that is the outcome.

best

mac

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:18 pm
by ray miller
Is this about Scrabble? Could be. I love the last 7 lines. I'm just not sure what to make of these lines -

But you slap scat alongside me
first top and then bottom.

Does scat have meaning or just a scrabble word?

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:16 pm
by Jackie
Thanks for your comments, Ray and Mac, they help a lot.

Yes, Scrabble. It's just my own uncommon way of playing it: I'm not into scores and absolutely love games where unusual words, coaxed out of nothing planned, predominate. I don't get along with Scrabble masters who know all the winning strategies.

Jackie

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sun Apr 05, 2020 5:37 pm
by NotQuiteSure
.
Hi Jackie,
I also though this might be scrabble - and enjoyed it - but 'the unpronounceable
threw me. Might it be 'an unpronounceable', for clarity?
Just some minor tweaks/suggestion (I think you could do much with italics in this).

These are the games that I forfeit.
(Surely this is the title?)

When I extend a real word
to the east (less mighty
than I’d would like)
and watch tense for your move
as we build our gallery.
But you slap scat
right down beside me

first my top and then bottom.
On my branch reaching west
you plop an unpronounceable.
Pursue me relentless
around the board
and where meaning appears
abort it, structural growth
starts, thwart it.
Until, predictably, I forfeit.


Regards, Not


.

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2020 3:34 pm
by bjondon
Hi Jackie - kind of joyful, almost meaningless. The unpronounceable in pursuit of the unplayable? - though this is eminently pronounceable. You are currently my favourite poet on the board - rhythm, melody, cut and come again play of meaning. Actually didn't you post another Scrabble poem about a year ago?. This one I think more fully realised.
Scrabble sits in interesting relationship with poetry and the writing/playing of. And there's an echo of your strategy of almost intentionally losing or forfeiting the accepted parameters i.e. inviting serendipity - a reverse archeology, unearthing what is just there in your head, buried in the language; thwarted/enhanced by your partner's play (the reader?). Perhaps more oppositional than the reader, taking the cue from your easts and wests, a dance between mastery/imposition/ego and spontaneous arising/acceptance/celebration.
I also liked the cheeky scatological refs. Is there something quintessentially scatological about language and poetry. Yes, I think there is. The theme of this poem being for me the peculiarly artificial, joy-packed etymological curiosity of our currency of consciousness.
I wonder if the reader needs a prompt to understand the wayward Scrabble stategy at the heart of this.
I thought of an alt title : Scribble, but I think I prefer your original.
Regards,
Jules

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2020 5:01 pm
by David
Really good, Jackie. It is - if I'm reading it correctly - a poem that is both about something (Scrabble, in this case) and also not about it (or about something else far larger,if you can imagine anything larger than Scrabble). And actually it works well, which is quite rare for such poems.

If it's actually just about Scrabble, and not about something larger, how silly will I look? Anyway ...

I'm wondering about scat too. Very pleasing to see plop juxtaposed with unpronounceable.

I would lop a couple of lines off Ray's favourites, but for me it's the last five that are terrific. A sonic treat as well.

And I really like the title.

Good stuff (11).

Cheers

David

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 12:42 pm
by Jackie
Not, Jules and David, thank you so much for giving me your help and impressions.

Not, thanks for your specific suggestions for me to consider.

Jules, you may be giving me a tad more credit that I deserve! Hope if I stretch, I reach that far!

David, so honored you like it. And does it reach beyond the world of Scrabble? For me, anything language related is life-related; they're one and the same.

Best,
Jackie

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Sat May 02, 2020 5:13 pm
by David
Don't be honored, Jackie! It's only me! But I do like it. A lot.

Cheers

David

Re: Once More, With Meaning

Posted: Fri May 08, 2020 10:01 am
by Danté
Interesting piece, quite a lot to ponder in the brevity of its compact form.
I kind of get the impression that it is more meaningful to a particular individual and I'm sneaking a peak at something not meant for me.
Therefore it gets me pondering and not really resolving completely.

Quite enjoyable to read.

Thanks

D