Curious (revision2)

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Macavity
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Re: Curious (revision)

Post by Macavity » Mon Apr 13, 2020 12:59 pm

:lol: No, it's central that N. is curious enough to check out the 'facts'. half-truths is a clever title, rich in possibilities, but I prefer the simple open door for this poem. Subjective I know!

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mac

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JJWilliamson
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Re: Curious (revision)

Post by JJWilliamson » Sun Apr 19, 2020 3:36 am

Well, I have to say, mac, that the general premise was a delight to follow and I had no problem, at all, unearthing the connection to Gran. (at least I think so)

It's a super little snapshot that reminded me of my own experiences with worms and "myths". I like how the poem reveals itself as it progresses.
Having said that, I found myself taking the poem literally and failed to connect to any metaphor, intended or otherwise. This is possibly because I didn't look for one, given that the potential for metaphor was tenuous, at least it was for me. However, it's good to read that others looked beyond the "obvious" to find something deeper. Not sure the poem works on that level, if I'm honest, but it's a resounding success on the literal front.
Macavity wrote:
Fri Apr 10, 2020 8:47 am
revision

Some notes for your perusal:

The one section twisting, the other still. ...The worm cut in half, unintentionally by the child's digging, one half dead, the other with potential for life.
I am a child again, with a trowel ...Something triggers this memory as he recalls this moment.
playing at science. Gran saying,
it mends itself in time. A comfort myth. ...The child is upset, if not traumatised, by his accidental severing of the worm. Gran, seeing her grandson's distress, explains that all is well because the worm will get better, in time, by growing the other half back.

I toss the halves into the long grass, ...Throws the "two worms" into the grass to get better AND because he simply has to get rid of the evidence.
dismiss those garden voices, finish digging. ...Kind of puts it behind him.
Later, I read about the clitellum ...This is where the curiosity progresses. He is already curious but now he takes it into the realms of research.
and mend, in my mind, a broken line. ...Much trickier and open to interp', feeling the speaker is now back in his adult mind, with the broken line referring to the struggle of writing?


Well, that's my understanding of the poem, for better or worse, but either way I enjoyed it very much.

Best

JJ

PS

The revision is my preferred version, although I'm on the fence about the title, given it's central role. It does fit.

J




original

Digging

The one section twisting, the other still.
I am a child again, fascinated,
playing at science. Gran saying,
it mends itself in time. A comfort myth.
I toss the halves into the long grass.
Later I read about the clitellum.
Long time a child and still a child

Macavity
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Re: Curious (revision)

Post by Macavity » Mon Apr 20, 2020 5:56 am

Having said that, I found myself taking the poem literally and failed to connect to any metaphor, intended or otherwise.
That's fine JJ. I don't really have much ambition for the poem beyond the literal. I did intend that most of the poem was the adult voice, all of stanza 2, but your reply suggests otherwise. I think I need to make that clearer.

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mac

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