Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Macavity
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5718
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 10:29 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by Macavity » Wed Jul 17, 2019 1:52 pm

haiku express
towards pedant boundaries
slow slower more slower

cameron
Site Admin
Site Admin
Posts: 2151
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 6:45 pm
antispam: no
Location: Norfolk 'n' Good

Re: Haiku Train

Post by cameron » Mon Jul 22, 2019 7:26 pm

Slower more slower;
But this train is still moving
After thirteen years.
"And I meet full face on dark mornings
The bestial visor, bent in
By the blows of what happened to happen."

Larkin

User avatar
JJWilliamson
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3245
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by JJWilliamson » Tue Aug 27, 2019 12:35 pm

After thirteen years
I’m subject to the law;
how the tide flows.
Long time a child and still a child

Macavity
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5718
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 10:29 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by Macavity » Fri Oct 04, 2019 6:19 am

how the tide flows
will weather the brows of men
and painter of boats

User avatar
JJWilliamson
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3245
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by JJWilliamson » Sun Oct 06, 2019 6:14 am

Painters of boats
pray to the evening stars
for guidance
Long time a child and still a child

Dryanddeadwords
Productive Poster
Productive Poster
Posts: 53
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:39 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by Dryanddeadwords » Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:10 am

for guidance
Odin gave his infant son
a satnav

User avatar
Sid
Persistent Poster
Persistent Poster
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:03 pm
Location: Australia

Re: Haiku Train

Post by Sid » Sat Nov 16, 2019 8:04 pm

For an ice cold beer
In a frosted glass pint mug
Satisfied my thirst

That’s what happens when you only read page 1 of 302..... my bad

Has the train derailed?

After thirteen years
She reappears still stunning
Reviving my past
Like the imprint left, an effect on your being - beautiful, wonderful, succinct.

User avatar
sleepystupid
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:37 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by sleepystupid » Sat Dec 14, 2019 9:47 am

reviving my past;
a windowed world asunder,
my lies stall the shame.

Macavity
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 5718
Joined: Tue May 10, 2005 10:29 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by Macavity » Sun Dec 22, 2019 3:53 am

my lies stall the shame
though the ocean breaks breathing
along the bay's curve

User avatar
sleepystupid
Posts: 22
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2015 6:37 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by sleepystupid » Fri Dec 27, 2019 7:08 pm

along the bay's curve
will never winter whether
eyes arrive or not

User avatar
JJWilliamson
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 3245
Joined: Sun Feb 22, 2015 6:20 am

Re: Haiku Train

Post by JJWilliamson » Fri Feb 21, 2020 6:00 am

Eyes arrived, not love,
I thought, as she
caught me looking.
Long time a child and still a child

Post Reply