On the misprizing of sons

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David2
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On the misprizing of sons

Post by David2 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:16 am

He told us, with a twinkle in his eye,
his rules of parenthood: raising a daughter's
like hand-rearing an overwrought gazelle;

a son, on the other hand, is like having a tortoise.
His son, they say, is rather shy,
and rarely comes out of his shell.

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by Antcliff » Wed Oct 09, 2013 8:31 am

..and his daughter runs at great speeds.
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by David2 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 6:55 pm

Antcliff wrote:..and his daughter runs at great speeds.
Ah! Completely overlooked that corollary!

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by twoleftfeet » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:47 am

Love it!

Is there a word for a poem written in response to a poem?
Instead of just sitting on the fence - why not stand in the middle of the road?

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by Cliff » Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:42 pm

Hello David,

I have absolutely nothing to add in terms of critique - sorry - but I really enjoyed reading this. The subject matter and your treatment of it from title down is very interesting - such a great comparison in the overwrought gazelle and the tortoise not coming out of his shell. What makes this work overtime for me though is "HE told us" but "THEY say" - very cool! If I can say "cool" in a literary forum.

Thanks!

~ Cliff
Somewhere in a burst of glory
Sound becomes a song - Paul Simon

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by David2 » Fri Oct 18, 2013 3:53 pm

Thankee, Geoff. It's not so much a reply to a poem as to a glib remark about sons I made myself in response to k-j's lovely 8th poem. I thought about it and regretted it. This is my Self-Criticism.

Thank you very much, Cliff. Very nice of you to say so. And I say cool a lot too, much to the despair of my much cooler son. (I suspect I can't say that either.)

Cheers both

David

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by ray miller » Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:46 pm

I didn't quite get this until reading your explanation. I'd felt before that more needed to be said of the raising of daughters. But I see now, and only now I notice the rhymes. Very nice. I had a similar-ish moment of guilt a while back when I realised I'd written poems about my wife, 5 daughters, 2 foster children and a dog, but not one about my son.
I'm out of faith and in my cups
I contemplate such bitter stuff.

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by David2 » Thu Oct 24, 2013 6:28 pm

ray miller wrote:I had a similar-ish moment of guilt a while back when I realised I'd written poems about my wife, 5 daughters, 2 foster children and a dog, but not one about my son.
Exactly!

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Re: On the misprizing of sons

Post by Basnik » Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:11 pm

Hi David,

I like the folksy antithesis going on. It's quite slight but it is a little poem after all. The one thing I would change is 'daughter's' as a line ending - loses its impact having a possessive, I think. I would start the next line with 'is like' so the simile stays together.

Take or leave, it's turtley up to you.

Sorry that was terrapin, I mean terrible.

Yours,

Rich
bez prace, nejsou kolaci - without work, there are no cakes (Czech proverb)

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