Blake's rough kiss

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David
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Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Tue Dec 27, 2016 8:52 pm

A Brief Contentious Overview of 18th Century Verse

Poetry drowsed a hundred gilded years,
dead to the world, the buzzing in its ears
a steady drone of perfect cadences
until awoken
by Blake's rough kiss.

Macavity
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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Macavity » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:05 am

Like it very much David. I would tweak here and there, but that's me not you. Anyway love the richness of Blake's rough kiss.

all the best

mac

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Suzanne » Wed Dec 28, 2016 6:21 am

It's about a specific poem? One or his general method of kissing? A rough kiss is not always negative, that's for sure.

I know little of him. And know you all know him well.

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Wed Dec 28, 2016 9:22 am

Thanks Mac. I would tweak it in a couple of places too - or at least I wonder whether it requires tweaking in those places - so I wonder if you are thinking of the same tweaks (or need for tweaking) as I am. Details gratefully received.

And thanks Suzanne. It's a bit more of a general overview of English Verse in the 18th Century (hence the subtitle) than a reference to a specific poem. (Although the metre in the last two lines is the same as in a specific poem of his.) The kiss is not from one of his poems - not one I know, anyway.

Just something fanciful for Christmas.

Cheers

David

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Lou » Wed Dec 28, 2016 12:35 pm

Like this but your conceit certainly is contentious IMO as I'm particularly fond of Gray, Cowper and Smart. But rough kiss is correct, Blake didn't pull any punches.

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Lou

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Macavity » Wed Dec 28, 2016 2:16 pm

Thanks Mac. I would tweak it in a couple of places too - or at least I wonder whether it requires tweaking in those places - so I wonder if you are thinking of the same tweaks (or need for tweaking) as I am.
I very much doubt it. My views are not classical/formalist, but more individual or 'eccentric' :)

As I said I like the notion of waking form from that classical slumber with 'Blake's rough kiss'. The sub-title felt a classical addition, as well as explanation, the tone was patrician - a hint of dismissive humour - perhaps your loyalties lie with the C18 :wink: I did wonder if the killer line should be reserved for the conclusion and for the title maybe a reference to brevity.
Poetry drowsed a hundred gilded years,...............triggers the gilded cage...not related to the world...which is reinforced by L2
dead to the world, the buzzing in its ears...drowsed/buzzing/drone...for sonics felt buzzing has more zip than drone...honey more mellifluous?
a steady drone of perfect cadences................delivers on the paradox, the dissatisfaction with, the prompt to Blake to not conform
until awoken
by Blake's rough kiss.
hope that helps some

best

mac

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:00 pm

Lou wrote:Like this but your conceit certainly is contentious IMO as I'm particularly fond of Gray, Cowper and Smart. But rough kiss is correct, Blake didn't pull any punches.
Good point, Lou. I have stacked the odds a bit, haven't I? I was thinking of Dryden and Pope, I suppose - perhaps with a side-order of Swift. All good stuff, but definitely some sort of deviation from the main line of English poetry, which Blake rudely wrenched back on track (not that anybody seems to have noticed that at the time).

Gray I like a lot - well, the famous Elegy anyway (it being pretty much all of his I know) - but that seems more like an early blossoming of the 19th century to me anyway. Some of the lines seem totally Wordsworthian.

And Smart seems of no time and of all time, simultaneously.
Macavity wrote:As I said I like the notion of waking form from that classical slumber with 'Blake's rough kiss'. The sub-title felt a classical addition, as well as explanation, the tone was patrician - a hint of dismissive humour - perhaps your loyalties lie with the C18 :wink:
Nope, I'm a 19th century boy (although I don't necessarily want to be your toy).
Macavity wrote: I did wonder if the killer line should be reserved for the conclusion and for the title maybe a reference to brevity.
That's a good idea. The subtitle was originally going to be the title, but I wondered whether it seemed a bit over- and archly clever.
Macavity wrote: dead to the world, the buzzing in its ears...drowsed/buzzing/drone...for sonics felt buzzing has more zip than drone...honey more mellifluous?
Yes. I had honey originally, but feared that it sounded a bit silly. I think I prefer it, though.
Macavity wrote:hope that helps some
It does! Thank you.

Cheers

David

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Macavity » Wed Dec 28, 2016 3:59 pm

Nope, I'm a 19th century boy.
:shock: ...Coleridge's conversational poems? :roll:
Macavity wrote:
dead to the world, the buzzing in its ears...drowsed/buzzing/drone...for sonics felt buzzing has more zip than drone...honey more mellifluous?


Yes. I had honey originally, but feared that it sounded a bit silly. I think I prefer it, though.
It does...or at least ordinary...if something inventive pops between my ears...

best

mac

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Antcliff » Wed Dec 28, 2016 4:36 pm

With Mac, in thinking the title should be saved for the close. Sub-title at title?

Liked the poem. Close enough to the truth perhaps to be fun, even if you round up Cowper and the Elegy. (Burns?). What of Charles Wesley? Is he a man of perfect cadence?

Seth
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Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Wed Dec 28, 2016 7:45 pm

Thanks Seth.
Antcliff wrote:With Mac, in thinking the title should be saved for the close. Sub-title at title?
Yes, that's the answer, I think.

Burns indeed! Forgot about him, and he preceded Blake didn't he? But ... not really English?

And Charles Wesley also bucks the trend. Still, the trend is still there, I think.

Cheers

David

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Ros » Thu Dec 29, 2016 10:44 am

I don't know the period well - the poem comes over as a bit of a generalisation, but I don't know enough to argue with it. Apart from that, nicely done.

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Thu Dec 29, 2016 5:33 pm

Ros wrote:I don't know the period well - the poem comes over as a bit of a generalisation, but I don't know enough to argue with it. Apart from that, nicely done.
There is generalisation going on here of course, Ros - but I reckon, when dealing with centuries, a little generalisation might be permitted. I hope so, anyway.

Cheers

David

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by JJWilliamson » Thu Dec 29, 2016 6:14 pm

I like this poem, David, but it reminded me of Keats rather than Blake.
Love the close and tend to agree about changing the title.

Best

JJ
David wrote:A Brief Contentious Overview of 18th Century Verse

Poetry drowsed a hundred gilded years,
dead to the world, the buzzing in its ears
a steady drone of perfect cadences
until awoken
by Blake's rough kiss.
Long time a child and still a child

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by 68degrees » Thu Dec 29, 2016 9:38 pm

Seems like a mighty hard weight to carry by one guy ;) but everyone has their heroes, I suppose.

I like "drowsed" a bunch w/it's connotation of potions and magic apples (or even the "drowsy humor" of Friar Lawerence). Not so sold on "gilded"....also "buzzing/drone" rather repetitious in such a short poem, especially by their proximity.

68degrees

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by David » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:39 pm

Keats, my dear JJ? But he's much later, ain't he? Glad you liked it anyway.

And thanks, 68. I'm drawn back to honey instead of buzzing, I think. (Thinking again!)

Interestingly (I think!), in view of your and JJ's remarks, "drowsed" is a good Keatsian word.

Cheers

David

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Macavity » Sun Jan 01, 2017 9:10 am

I like this poem, David, but it reminded me of Keats rather than Blake.
and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense
I hear what you mean JJ!

best

mac

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Re: Blake's rough kiss

Post by Firebird » Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:49 pm

I like the idea. The rough kiss of Blake waking us for the Augustan poet's obsession with perfect forms/iambic rhyming couplets. I like the idea that for this period poetry was sleeping (beauty) and Blake was a rough Prince Charming.

Maybe make the first rhyming couplet a stanza on its own. And also make it's metre perfect (hinting at Pope). It might be good if the third line rhymed fully with the first two lines and make the first three lines a stanza of perfect iambic feet. Or maybe you don't need the third line at all and the first two lines say this if their cadences are perfect :D .

It works for me.

Happy New Year!

Tristan

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