Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

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RCJames
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Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

Post by RCJames » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:31 pm

You wait on the planets
to re-align themselves… for what,
your perfect match, release,
circumvention of disaster?

What awaits you beyond
leaps up,
covers you with irreversible
conditions,
lifelong captivity
no heavenly body can rearrange.

Players upon a stage
alone are truly adept
at logic defying devices;
given it’s a leap away
from reality,
it allows an audience
to participate
in a second handed confabulation
of the world
as seen at morning waking.

Fires of expectation
roar and leap up
on a walk along the strand,
heart swollen
with images of fulfillment
in a lover’s arms,
and easily disappear
as though in contrary
off shore winds,
headed back, bent for land.

Wait on nothing,
but spring to action,
seize the ceremony,
the strictures of modesty,
twirl them
around your slightest finger
and stare
into the gulf
where abandoned hopes lie,
juggle them
as you would stolen whispers.

A handsome gentleman
enters the green
carrying the very vision
you presented at dusk
when the setting sun
struck your cheek
with the tone no painter,
poet, or magician
ever accomplished.

Those universal bodies,
you have forsaken,
traded now for the sight
of that robust-figured man
given now to lingering,
thinking to align himself
with your celestial stance.
Last edited by RCJames on Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

David
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Re: Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

Post by David » Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:53 am

Do we need to know who Lady Katherine is, I wonder? It seems very specific, but it could be generic. But what’s the genre? (NB There is no etymological link between genre and generic, I know. But they do seem to go together, somehow.)

That might help with S2, which just puzzles me at the moment. And there’s a Lear reference – intentional? – in S3? “Calamity / carries its own guarantee” is a ringing declamation, but I’m not sure I follow it. Then another stage reference in S4, which I quite like. It might almost stand on its own, or as the start of a different poem, although I wonder also about logic wrenching (logic-wrenching?) devices. I like devices here. S5 is also quite lively, a bit more rooted in action and place than the opening stanzas. In SS 6-8 I again feel some background knowledge would be helpful.

So where does that leave us? Or me, to be precise. Well, I like much of what’s here, but it all seems a bit untethered and unfocused at the moment. It’s quite attractive, but I couldn’t really find anything I could latch on to so that I could feel that I understand the poem. If that’s the effect you’re going for, bravo, but it’s not an effect that I particularly warm to.

Do you think that making it less sententious, less abstract, might help? The devil is in the detail, after all, and poems need a bit of devil.

Cheers

David

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Re: Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

Post by RCJames » Fri Jun 28, 2019 12:21 pm

Thanks David - I was waiting for my assignment on this one and it turned out
to be about what I had anticipated - might not have it for tomorrow's class.

I do agree that it needs some specific definition. - RC

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Re: Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

Post by twoleftfeet » Fri Jun 28, 2019 4:24 pm

Hello,RC
David wrote:
Fri Jun 28, 2019 10:53 am
..although I wonder also about logic wrenching (logic-wrenching?) devices.
I wondered about that,too.
My suggestion would be to have "logic-twisting devices" with a "...a wrench away from reality" to match the tool (wrench) to "device" and retaining your word-plays.

I'm having fun imagining ("confabulating"?) the back-story to the poem:
Is Lady K already married, or perhaps betrothed to someone her family approves of,but she does not?
The "carrying the vision" line is clever: is the vision an image of Lady K or of the gentleman?
Are we witnessing a clandestine assignation? :)

I'm liking the astrological references, which seem to gel with the language,and of course I'm wondering about the period.
If the period is pre-20th century,and bearing in mind the references to actors/stages/soliloquys then I'd be inclined to go a tad more "archaic" e.g
"the gulf where lie abandoned hopes"

I'm also liking the contrast between sea (taking a risk) and land (the status quo).

If it were my poem,I'd ditch S3,which - in my view - slows the poem down ..BUT IT AIN'T MY POEM. :)

Geoff
Instead of just sitting on the fence - why not stand in the middle of the road?

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Re: Lady Katherine Ponders the Possibilities

Post by RCJames » Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:33 pm

David and TLF - Thanks for the suggestions from both of you - I purposely omitted
details as to the identity and situation of the woman, allowing the reader to fill those in.
I got rid of the 3rd stanza and changed logic wrenching to logic defying. Probably more to come as I refine the piece - RC

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