Yep, I much prefer the poem without the sketching, but see what others think. They may disagree.So no sketching? Shame, I liked that.
NotQuiteSure wrote: ↑Fri Jan 17, 2020 12:14 pm.
In the holidays she observed the cat,
hidden by the rhododendron, shrinking
amongst dry, yellowy culms of goose grass.
She noted the incremental turning
of its head away from her: golden eyes,
pecked to sockets, closed up with soil. She saw
how it began to snarl, and found herself
smiling at each thin-lipped revelation:
the way the loose tongue hung like a shadow
of its last breath, white whiskers thistle-stiff. (maybe a dash instead of a comma in this line)
She watched but did not see the industry
of maggots, in its ruptured belly, burst
- black, and winged, and hungry for the world.
September, returned to school, she wrote, this (I much prefer the punctuation in v3 of this line)
summer I did scientific research.