Chicken on a Sunday

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barrie
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Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:00 pm

On Wednesday I know where I am,
on Thursday I know nothing.
Friday is a misty time
my wherewithall is coughing.
O Sunday, why've we missed a day -
is my clock not ticking?
I see the chicken running round,
whose bones we've just been picking.

Time runs backyards now and when
it thinks that no-one's checking,
that smoothboned chicken carcass,
still clucking and a-pecking,
jumps back into the oven dish
until the fat starts spitting,
a crispy, plumpy, juicy bird,
an expert in self-basting.
......................

Original last line

that's grown too thin for eating.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by oranggunung » Mon Oct 20, 2008 4:43 pm

Barrie.

Clever. Although it looks like nonsense, rereading seems to suggest rather more care than random strands. Food for thought, perhaps.

I wonder if you might consider tightening the couplets to pull the reader through that little more smoothly. Nothing/coughing nags at me each time I read it. Ticking/chicken/picking is just excellent fun, though.

The playful word use (backyards, smoothboned, a-pecking) fits with the strange story. One feels there could easily be a series of these. I suspect your chameleon nature would not let you dally so long. Just recalled that smoothtruthful was a recent neologism of yours too - interesting.

I see the link with spitting/eating, but it doesn't satisfy as I think it should. Just a thought about a tighter ending:

jumps back into the oven dish
'til fat starts agitating,
a crispy, plumpy, juicy bird
that's too thin for cremating.

enjoyed


og

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by El Wow! » Mon Oct 20, 2008 6:58 pm

I really loved the idea behind this, super stuff
El

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by bobblekat » Mon Oct 20, 2008 7:46 pm

Quirky little piece there, Barrie. I won't lie and say I understand what it's about, although my mind filled in the missed Saturday with debauched drinking, but then that probably says more about me, the reader, than you the writer ;-)

I enjoyed it.

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by Lake » Tue Oct 21, 2008 5:47 am

It's too late tonight. Will be back on this Chicken. Reminds me of bird flu. Sorry.

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barrie
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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Tue Oct 21, 2008 10:58 am

bobblekat wrote:although my mind filled in the missed Saturday with debauched drinking
- Such a terrible thought never crossed my innocence.

Thanks El and Lake - Bird flu - I'd almost forgotten about that. They've got the financial crisis to frighten people with now so they haven't needed the bird flu bogeyman (but he'll be back).

Thanks og - You were right about the end line, so I've replaced it.

cheers all

Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by arunansu » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:14 pm

An excellent read. Vivid images. Enjoyed.

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barrie
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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Tue Oct 21, 2008 1:44 pm

Thanks Aru - It's a good job it wasn't one of those three legged chickens.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by Lake » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:14 am

barrie wrote:It's a good job it wasn't one of those three legged chickens.
three legged chickens - phoenix?

Needless to say, all your poems, be it two legged chickens or three legged chickens, or no legs, have the sound quality that makes an enjoyable read even without understanding it.

This poem gives me a feel of traveling through time and space, and somewhat nihilistic?

"Time runs backyards now and when", at first I read "backyards" as backyards, then I realized that you used your freedom to mean backwards?

Talking about chicken, "I can boil, bake, roast, and fry. My best dish is a creamed chicken pie with white sauce." Said the Cook.

Bone Appétit

Lake

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Thu Oct 23, 2008 2:37 pm

Lake wrote:"Time runs backyards now and when", at first I read "backyards" as backyards, then I realized that you used your freedom to mean backwards?
- I'm glad you got that. It was a last minute change when I was reading through - it did say backwards originally.
Lake wrote:three legged chickens - phoenix?
-

As he was doing about seventy down the motorway, a driver was overtaken by a chicken. Shaken from his automaton like state, he went after it - He chased it at speeds of up to ninety before it turned onto a slip road and shot off down a country lane, with the determined driver close behind. Before long it skidded off down a dirt track and disappeared into a farmyard. The pursuing car juddered to a halt a few yards from an old farmer who was leaning on a shovel.

“Did you see that?” asked the bewildered driver.

“Aye.” said the farmer.

“I’m sure it had three legs .” the driver remarked excitedly.

“Aye.” said the farmer.

“Well I’m glad you saw it too, I thought I was seeing things.”

“Saw it,” said the farmer, “I breed the buggers!”

“Three legged chickens - why’s that?” enquired the puzzled man.

“Well it’s like this," the farmer continued, “I likes a leg, the wife likes a leg, and the son likes a leg, so it was a problem that needed solving.”

“That’s bloody marvellous!” said the driver admiringly, “What do they taste like?”

“Don’t know,” the farmer said, “I’ve never caught one!”


Thanks Lake

Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by David » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:26 pm

Here, who are you calling a three-legged chicken?

I like this. It's like some sort of Zen riddle dressed up as doggerel. It starts off very like Friday On My Mind. I think I prefer your original last line.

Cheers

David

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:34 pm

Cheers David

Chicken Triskelion - It could be adopted as the IOM national dish.

G. RAMSEY
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by Lake » Fri Oct 24, 2008 4:38 am

Thanks Barrie for the story. Enjoyed reading it. So the three legged chicken is as rare a species as a phoenix to get.

Now you get me interested in the use of "backyards". I see it as time runs the backyard where the chicken runs around, clucking and pecking, or time runs backwards yard by yard.

Fun play on words.

Lake

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barrie
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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Fri Oct 24, 2008 1:36 pm

Funny things words. I altered backwards to backyards just because they look very similar. No doubt it has been read a few times as backwards because that's what the eye expects to see. You'd expect them to rhyme by the way they're spelt - another example of the complexity of English pronunciation.

Shaw once spelled fish as ghoti

gh - as in rough
o - as in women
ti - as in nation

Barrie
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by arunansu » Fri Oct 24, 2008 2:32 pm

Dear Barrie,
I was also wondering what can be a "three-legged chicken", thanks for the lovely story behind. All these words about chicken is making me hungry.
Great write.

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:19 pm

arunansu wrote:All these words about chicken is making me hungry.
- Put some charcoal in a tandoori oven! - I've just made a chicken curry - with extra black cardamom (only had two legs though).

thanks Aru
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by Danté » Sat Oct 25, 2008 4:40 pm

Barrie,

Read this loads of tymes now.

There is just something about that damn chicken, really reminded me of being in Africa and a young woman following one around the yard with a knife in her hand. Smiling at it, and making reasuring noises. That chicken knew, and had real mischief in it eyes, skinny as hell, but they crunch the bones as well, so probably not an issue. Lots of wordplay to enjoy here, and as has been the case with few posts lately, we see what we expect sometimes and not an actuality. That´s life I guess, and probably your intention to illustrate that aspect. I could go on, but at this stage in the game, there are few surprising angles from which to from a tangent.

Thanks

Tim
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch

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barrie
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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by barrie » Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:07 pm

Thanks Tim

Just a bit of nonsense really - I'm good writing nonsense.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......

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Re: Chicken on a Sunday

Post by Danté » Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:19 pm

I write nonsense most days,

By the way, I really like the poem, from the sea. As does its inspiration.

All the best, enjoy your evening

Tim
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch

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