Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Beat writers' block here.
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Suzanne
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Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by Suzanne » Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:21 pm

Hi.

How would you describe fluttering moths? Give it a try.

This is from my poem Flicker posted here:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=13398&

I don't want to bring up the whole thread but wanted to share this as an exercise.

Someone ???? challenged me to come up with something more creative than:

Today, I saw five periwinkle moths
flutter in ecstasy above my walking path
then settle at my feet.
I reached for my camera
so I could pass their joy
on to you, but remembered
I had emptied my pockets
of such things.



And I came up with this:

Today, above my walking path,
pale blue moths weaved excitement
in a production of invisible flight patterns,
then settled at my feet.

Without thinking, I reached for my camera
to share them with you
but remembered I'd emptied my pockets
of such things.


It was not very easy to find fresh words. I wanted to use popcorn popping, lol.

And periwinkle, ouch, a tough word to use smoothly, want to try that?

I challenge you to give it a go.
Periwinkle fluttering moths and reaching for a camera.

I am sure you could do a better job than I did. It would be fun to see.





Warmly,
Suzanne

nar
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Post by nar » Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:13 pm

Drunken Pacmen? ;)

- Neil

Suzanne
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Re: Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by Suzanne » Mon Aug 09, 2010 7:23 pm

You are so funny!
Do it! Lol!

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Re: Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by Pauline » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:26 pm

Not sure what you are going to make of this Suzanne, but hey, here goes.

A kaleidoscope of aquamarine
dances excitedly above my casual jaunt,
weaving impressive tingles of beauty.

I steep myself in translucent wings,
and will drip their splendour
upon your unseeing eyes.

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Re: Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by Danté » Mon Aug 09, 2010 9:59 pm

.


Today, I walked into a soiree
of parti-coloured distractions
and remembered you.
I filled my jar
with bright extruded sugar,
screwed the top tight
until it became concave.
The jar shattered,
I carry the lid in my pocket.


.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch

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Re: Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by brianedwards » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:33 am

Thanks Neil, pauline and Tim for proving my point! :D

Ahh, I know I shouldn't, but what the hell . . .


Loathe to Love Moths

I swing, swipe, at four, or more? yes, five
hinged raiders, winged invaders of the Pearl
Harbour of my head, a violet swirl
of violence, a periwinkle surprise
assault. I have low flutter tolerance,
tut and flinch at alate organisms
subservient to certain bio-rhythms
romantics sentimentalize as dance.

You. You'd probably Ooh! and coo and gawp,
exhaust your meagre lexicon on a verb
or adjective, or crude iambic net.

Me. I'd rather swing and swipe and snap,
record their final flicker on the curb.
I've felt like this since the day you left.




B.

~

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Re: Periwinkle fluttering moths and a camera

Post by Suzanne » Tue Aug 10, 2010 6:46 am

Brian, Oh, why "shouldn't" you? You should always jump in on the games.
You should!

And you did! Yes.

Look, I helped you prove your point, I must be completely MAD.

Pauline and Tim, so very enjoyable. I tried to keep mine in the feel of the full poem but You! You both created something interesting and vivid.
It is inspiring. Marvelous fun. Excellent creative word play.

I am smiling at the fun of it. Thanks.



Warmly,
Suzanne

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